~The Simplicity Of My History II ~

1st interior design book for myself:)

2011-08-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

:D
I bought my first Interior Design book :D

-

the fundamentals of interior design simon dodsworth.

I fell in love with Jenny Gib's book,
"Interior Design"

but upon asking the staff for "basic book on ID"
i compared the 2 and took the above instead:)
I used the money mom gave me for my advanced pocket allowance.

I wonder how she is and esp my grandparents.
nahospitalised si tatay nanaman last sunday ata..
mom left just yesterday. i miss her already.

Last night's practice ended up with YP meeting -Godly inspired
to get the Youths geared up for independence :D
matuloy na ito!! dami namin plans, so eexcited. i gotta keep up
with everything's God's giving me :D
Grab Grab every opportunity! :D

gagawa nako ng concept box :D
hmm... dapat may website nako sa mga artworks ko:D
pero dapat private kasi wla pako sa standard na ganon. lol...

Thank you Lord! :D

Ive met all my modules

2011-08-04T20:48:00.002+08:00

HAYATAH!!!

Ive met all my modules today.
Ive started projects too, in fact 2 of them.
Bloody insane. hahaha...
Usually its just slow and slack -introductions simply.
But that is not the idea of a Double Major course.
So I shouldn't be surprised, right?
I am just taken aback by the fact that I am a
double major student, I have to excel and learn how to row my own canoe:)

So far so good... i hate the fact that I need to do INDEPENDENT studying.
hoping I could get a buddy to go with me...... *wonders*
that means, more trips at Kunokinya, more reading, late nights and smart ways of balancing school, family, boyfren and church obligations.

My God will provide this. I need to spend more intimate time with Him. I feel at ease whenever I do so. Ok, off to starting my homework. It'll be awesome if I advance completing my homeworks/projects/research.

It's time to excel.
Time to climb the stairs of success where it's not crowded:)

Godblessy'all:D

I got in! :D

2011-07-12T00:45:00.002+08:00

teehee!!

It's been a while since I wrote here.

Anws, I recently found out that our class timetable is out.
Sheeze, kala ko ba 25th ang balik namin?
Bakit starting, it said Aug 1??
Nasasabik nako sa pagbalik sa eskwelahan!!

Good News:)

Ive got into Interior + Exhibition! Praise God!!

Yehey!!! :D

Boyfren slept over:)
Best and the last. haha.

Faith, Hope and Trust

2010-09-08T23:41:00.002+08:00

Hebrews 11:1
whata good good message.
ito nanaman, sumakto don sa tinuro sakin ni Anchor over the phone during the days when i lost my phone. And after that sharing, nainlove ako sa kanya ng lalo.
It's really a wonderful feeling whenever you talk about God and his wonders and love towards us. What's really more captivating is the wonder on how one person has a mentor in feeding her with his spiritual word of blessings.
Maganda ang feeling... sobra.

So today, was another day...
Was emotic the day before. haha! gosh. cant wait for weds onwards na cz its spiritual feeding day.

today, we collected our history projs back. The rain poured so heavy at 1045am, i was caught in the rain and thank God i wasnt wet. :)
My mates and I went around the city and took silly kiddie pics.
It took my mind of things.
I ate ice cream again. 3 days consecutively na yan. omg.

Went over at Esplanade Library for God knows why.
Ended up borrowin scores, dance dvds and a piano tutorial :)
i didnt know my friend, whom im not really that close with, is another freakin musician.
I find myself close and alone with musicians, it hurts to even think about you. lol... but the honest truth is, theyve been great friends, i know why God let me meet them, cz instead of hurting, I became strong... they inspired me and it only gotten me more excited to share them to my Anchor. Haha. funny how God plans it. Idk... but im happy. Music is still that solace for me.

The Bible study was the last appointment of the day. Almost hit laziness when I got home. Even more scared to the point Ive already lost my ezlink yet im gonna go all the way to pasir ris just to have bible study in usage of my mom's card. gee.
so, i did told her im goin for BS and she permitted. Like, wala syang sinabi. Agree lang. Phew~~

I learnt about Faith, Hope and Trust today. Trust wasnt included in the title of Hebrews11:1 but anws, it was brought together.
I need to not only increase my faith but also to hope, claim it and trust the Lord.
I need to ask for wisdom, guidance of the holy spirit and readiness of the heart when reading the bible. For if we do, we see God's will, his plans and conversation to us, conviction and he fills us with happiness we end up sharing the good news. I wanna experience this :)

Just weird na of all lessons, ito pa ang pinaturo. sakto pa na si Anchor ang nagsabi non sakin, at sakto na si Ate Grace ang teacher ko.

What's nice is that we met 3 new people today :D
the lady turned out to be an ID!!!
INTERIOR DESIGN!!!!
hahahah
naexcite din sya nong nalaman nya na ID ang kinukuha ko :)
weeeeeee~~~
LORD! THIS IS IT!!! the breakthru!!
thanks for the help uve been sending meh way! hehehe :D
awwww

so ayon, we exchanged numbers.
one more note, bro, i pray, will attend with us next thurs!
ohoh!! surprise! surprise! :D

Sabi daw, may purpose kung bakit kami nadala don...
hmm...
:)

7th Sept 10 and I am lonely

2010-09-07T01:13:00.004+08:00

Its been sometime since I felt this lonesomeness that I was just taught not to entertain it in my heart.
Who could be blamed when circumstances are a reality.
I am to blame no one.

My bestfriend cousin just left phils for good.
the most romantic exboyfriend just lost his dad due to heart attack -no vices.
And I am not in the best position of a relationship, if there is to even count for.
Worst is that its my school break for 2 weeks and I am panned by reality.
I am too free and I let my mind run away...

Every night I cling on to your word oh God...
You have heard my cries, my pains, my negativity, my impulsiveness, my proud ego, i hate at times.

I lost my ezlink card again today. about 40bucks in there when I was gonna make my visit to a love one. I only realized it after lunch, alone. mygawd.
so there, he doesnt know i went there almost penniless... he doesnt know i still went to see him cz i wanna be there and care for him. he doesnt know i have been waiting and it hurts to wait sometimes i just wanna let go, leave everything...
when i was there, i had to stop myself from hugging him, from wanting him close, from wantin to kiss him instead of his niece...
I had to tolerate.. i had to cooperate.. I had to play like an actress... i had no choice but to wait and hope and keep that faith...
There have been amountin memories and events ive been pillin up wantin to share it to him, but somehow, i cant make myself to cz i dont seem welcome in the look in his eyes...

i went home, alone. cold.
i dont know whom to turn to... nobody seem to last as my real bestfriend.
all love ones are leavin the phils.. all are busy with their own lives.. and i am just a soul out there.. souless? heh..
i dont wanna be negative... but i am just feeling this..

i watched the new bachellorette, Ally, with my siblings.
I just can't help but miss the connection, the sweetness... the ways a man goes all out for the one he loves.

and all i can do now, is just keep that faith... and cry to him, my solace, my solitude...

the barenaked ladies band was part of the show, and i cant help but to put this on a replay:
"you run away."

i wanna get lost in the sound of music once more... and never letting it stop, cz it soothes me.
the visit ti campus 3 was such an eyeopener it made me feel happy.
sana isang campus nlg at 3 schools para balance ang energy sa lahat ng departments.
i think our campus 2 is the stressed out building. we need energy from the other campuses!

New beginnings of a great journey

2010-09-01T00:51:00.002+08:00

heck with the title. i cant figure one rite now.
so i started with that, not sure whether wat i'll say will fall in that category. haha.

today was a breather.
2 days.
so we confessed. we talked. and there it went, out in the open.
we felt good. i think. i felt good. somehow i knew i trusted his words.

so today...
i just realised that what happened was to set us free from bondage of sin.
and that was the exact sermon at New creation church. "Dead in Sin, Alive in Christ."
Pastor Prince has his way of preaching, very humorous and entertaining the youth esp:)
I cant believe that Hillsong was there too. Darlene Zschech... what was an awe, was the solo performance of the guitar rifts... just the guitar and no vocals... in tune to God is Awesome, i think. haha. and then in the midst of the song, came another guitarist.
At once, he came to mind. He wasnt there. I cant believe he missed 3 great worship leaders this year: Planet Shakers (oh, i remembered, after their concert here, i said yes.), Don Moen and now Darlene. grabeh, nasan ka sa mga araw na ito at puro pagod nalang mga excuse mo?

ive alot to say...
there was the note i wrote for Aly at facebook.
too many coincidence.
so i decided to write it there to keep for history.

I wanna start a fresh.
Last saturday was different a praise and worship ritual for me...
I cried. yes i did. grabeh...
no, he wasnt there.
i wasnt suppose to go cz sunday was another service to attend with mates.
hmwrk piles up... but somehow, i pulled myself there.
Jesus got me there...
I just sang.. no new songs... but i confessed to him and i felt him... i teared...
and smhow i knew i was forgiven.

Sunday came, and the remainin thoughts in my head the day before was answered there and then. Weird to say that there was even a surprise guitar lead... and the sermon did spoke about us. Romans 6. I hoped he was there... but no.
Ang bilis sumagot ni Lord... the next day na kaagad...
So up to now, Im clinging to that.
We are all righteousness in the site of God...
We shant condemn ourselves when we sin for he sees what Jesus did -died on the cross.
but we shud also confess our sins, make sure it doesnt happen so that he will flow to us, and he'll use us, and we will feel him moving and changin in our lives. He'll do things we cant fathom we cud have done.
I like the examples Pastor Prince said about a man who was bound to have sinned, devored the sin and the opposite...
he was drivin past orchard road and saw a lingerie woman display... he was fastin all day and wen he saw the pic, he entertained the thoughts in his head, puttin his efforts and God aside. He condemned himself when he did his business.
then another, same case scenario, just that this man, talked to God, brought himself to prayer and told himself not to look more than once or make it imaginable... and it worked.
:)

Wat i really wanna say is, he knows wat im talkin about. I miss the sweetness between us. But now i understand why there's always something drawin me far from him whenever we meet...
Why im hostile with him.. why i seek more of his time rather than lettin him rest just because i miss him and we dont have time much.
why i dont feel his presence. My cries werent as audible before...

It's really different when you abide the bible, love it, read it, put into practice and sharing it.
there's just this feeling of greatness overflowin that u want it shared cz its too excited to keep. hehe. and then blessings flow.
after we confessed, i just realised i did a great job doin my sketch hmwrk... i was smsing with him while sketching, ended rite wen we ended our conversation too and it look fabulous. :D
He is working now, i can tell.
ive been reading the bible too. i wanna go pract not because of him, but because i really wanna worship and bring him praise :D

oh, and another. my mom knew about us already. she told me to leave the church. but i told her ive commitments pa.. so she said, rite after im done with it, then i'll leave.
ano ba yan. i am not ready to say na i love worshippin there. That i learn and grow wen im there... i see my talents used in many ways: cooking for people, worship n praise, fellowshp with pinoys, familyness, dance and friendship... :)
ang dami... im just the mere one on the other side...

i guess its true na pipintas tau ng kalaban...
pero its great to see na as wat pastor Jay said, to seek wisdom and knowledge with fellow believers. iba kasi ang advice nila.. there's always the hidden positivity and support.
i cant believe a couple is knowing my problem and theyre in lead of music... ive been wantin to be in music too :) and here it is. ang galing on how it works. hehehe.
how he is working.

ok, gotta end here. dami pa e.
but i need qt and sleep na. ive been deadwalking cz of schwrk and emotions. baka mahimatay nako. OUT!!!

Festival Of Praise 2010

2010-07-31T00:15:00.003+08:00

Woaaaa! :)

So there it went as part of history :)
Almost couldnt find a accompany to go with me for that event.
Boyfriend gave it a missed which was quite puzzling... not.
Still got no phone, so its hard for me to call conveniently at my pace.
But God made it work. :)

There I was feeling small in the very large crowd.
Wanting to leave at 930pm, it became an hour later cz time ticked.

The sermon IS lifechanging.
Twas about Reconciliation, Forgiveness, Righteousness and Revival.
The chapter was taken from Mark something.
It's the Lord's Prayer.

"Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven."
this was stressed alot and used in his topic.

I related well with the pastor's Life...
Twas about family, drugs, school, reconciling all thats taking place in the family.

My Lord....
You are so speaking to me. :(
Ang hirap kasi... pero ikaw naman ang mangunguna, and you're doing this for your purpose:)

Righteousness is to be done towards each other, man to man for the conformation of God in Heaven. Thats the meaning.
And when you can't be rightheous towards man, a bad habit such as being an abuser rolls down from one generation to the next...
Comes Reconciliation...
to forgive whomever that made us wronged in life. Whatever it is. Where forgiveness didn't take place, forgive them...
We were asked by the pastor to remember the faces and declared in his name that thy person is forgiven for whatever wrong doings... regardless of the span.

And as I looked around the crowd singing, "Here I am to worship," all hands in the air...
I couldnt help but tear...
that this adventure, this road that I am walkin is lightened by God...
It is tough...
tough for a human, but not with God.

Tips in not backsliding:
1. Get involve in a church
2. Read God's word
3. Share his word: cz your mouth is a very powerful source.

Lord.......
i can feel you move.
i saw the spot where it was in mah dream.

Revival

2010-07-30T00:28:00.003+08:00

"God bless the broken road that lead me straight to you."

I was doing my homework of Technical Drawing when this song suddenly played.
There it went, giving me courage, strength, renewal and of something else that I can't describe -I felt alive in the wee hours in the morning.

Then when I woke up, I decided to share the verse :)

I was in the midst of trying so hard... focusing, disciplining, getting it all right, wanting to get an A for a grade, I stressed out. I got tired I wanted to give up and just let it all be, but deep down, I knew it was not right...
Then this song came... I remembered the days when school has not started yet.
I remembered the entrance exam I had to go through, the pain sticking of looking for a school that gave me the right course I wanted -where I excel, where my talents are.

There was that road of trials, pitfalls, hardships and the triumph, the needs were met...
and now here I am, down the road of my dreams...
there's alot to say really... I just wanna say some pointers:
-Whenever I walk around the school of arts, I see my passion coming alive, slowly... but surely. I knew I was on track.
I applied the skills I had when I wasnt in the arts school, thats from starbucks, being a barista.
I made new friends... but we were not in the same class. It was easy for me, and it helped me.

-I became more independent. I payed for my entrance test fees. I prayed for that and I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who supports me. We did had some rough patches those weeks too but I now saw its purpose. Indeed, there are reasons behind our actions, some, we can't fathom.
Honey, thanks aLoT for pushing me with my school application when you couldn't make it.

-I saw answered prayers.
alot. I remembered my days in elemetary and highschool cz those were the times I knew I wanted to excel in the subject, but I decided for myself and not with God.
It's a different adventure when you put ur plans in accordance of God.
What I mean is, there are things that our hearts desire... but when you put it into faith, give it to God and let him speak to you, you know and will testify that this is what he plans and wants you to do... and when he does this, it is for your own good... because, do you know why? He is made for you to let him serve him, because we are His. :)
Popo, if you're reading this... and I hope you do, because I am just so excited to share you what's happening in my faith. Gusto ko din maexperience mo ito :)

I came to a successful entry of the school.
I screwd my fashion design entrance test. I was on a thin line for just takin the 3D design.
But God let it done. He made me enter the school and what's best is that my parents supported me in this adventure. And this was another road...
I was told to let go of:
starbucks, church, bible study, music ministry, fellowship and no more phone line.

Now, taking you further in my road...
school began just last week. I planned earlier this month to continue working provided I knew my schedule at school first.
Orientation came and the last thing I knew was the most important: schedule.
Now I realise I have to indeed let go of starbucks. School is takin a toll on me.
:(
I still attended some sessions of church... I escaped for most but I should stop that now. I need parent's consent to bring glory to his name.
I was in so much pressure of control it affected everyone around me especially my love, my boyfriend. He saw the every inch of my ugliness. :( and then the church...
It was hard, it is hard. It made me cry...
I cried when I was at the bus stop with boyfriend... I just couldnt let him see...
And then I slowly adjusts... I set out to bid my farewell and just trust in the Lord.
I began reading bible again... I began prayin more whenever I go to school and whenever I do my work.
There are times when I was talking to him and I could fill my tears. But when I opened them, I felt different -renewed.

so now... here we are... I am still adjusting to what he wants.
And in every road... I am glad he is in control.
I am extra glad that he brought me people who cared for me. Who shares his words... his words are so extra ordinary... (I hope my family feels this too.... and I'll pray... and seek your glory.)

My everyday talkings with God is special.
We went to perenakan museum yesterday and I saw the art works that I was coached on during highschool days... I didnt know, but now i understand.
The feeling was just magical when I saw the shadow puppets and then flashbacks began in my mind... I was in awe. I knew he wanted this for me even more.

Tapos meron din mga art works sa school with sayings... and that happens din.
It's a beautiful adventure...
And its even more beautiful when you keep him centered in your life.
There's more than just security.. more than love.. more than the life this world offers.
It's something so magical talaga...
Tuesday was ceramics class... and i did that during elem days :)
Oh memories~~

Today was another day. I started out ugly. unfinished work, time to savor and a heartwrenching message. My school work did got in the way... my tears fell on the tracing paper... cz i cried out to him... and then, turned out, a christian friend shared me her views. Its so wonderful talking about God... I feel cloud 9. no stress. just renewal of strength.
And then... idk... i went to surprise boyfriend and though I was tired and so was he...
when we talked about his wonders... when he shared me, when he questioned me... all these strenghtened us. not just our relationship but also the faith. The Faith. :)
It's just so uniquely a feeling. Ang ganda...
ayon, may one part pa cguro yon. Im scared... but i'll trust in him.

It's the weekend nanaman. I hate it na cz i have to work and its compromise of goin church.
But i'll pray.... and that is all you need. :) Faith and Quiet Time... read your bible so you know he speaks to you... that is his everyday love letter. :)

Till here Amigos!
I love y'all! Godblessus!
I cant wait for Praise 2010! yehey!

All that I want

2010-07-26T11:41:00.001+08:00

All that I want -PlanetShakers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSnLx3OrqcA&feature=PlayList&p=05CDB17BDBA4AFA5&index=3&playnext=4

that is all...
nahihirapan ako :(
I can't juggle anymore...
I can't attend service with the job...

I lost my sister's phone Ive been borrowin for a year already
early yesterday's morning when I headed to work.

All these heavy feelings and commands are such in high expectations I feel so stressed. I cant choose what to let go..... but i have to.

Festival Praise is this Friday!
yehey..
but... :( ive work at 645am the next day.
ughughughug~

Lord!!! I wanna surpass this phase! huhuhu

Time to let go and await for change

2010-07-09T01:04:00.003+08:00

My breakthrough in studies.

What breakthrough did u say??
I am breaking and I am apprehensive.
I finally get to study and major my interests yet there are things I have to let go
before it commences.

I made up my mind to leave my part time job for 3 years.
I find it hard to write a resignation letter.

I have to leave my source of growth in faith.
And only He can fathom what is and will be in store.

I didn't anticipate this to be emotional.
No.
And as I made my way home from music practice,
I cling on the hope that I can still go cz he didnt hear me
say my bid of farewell.

Dont let this be the last.
Use me continually.

I listened to "Breathe On Me"
and these words I cling on to.
Can't believe I teared. Why... ?

Speak to me voice of God,
Soft and Still inside my heart.
Speak to me Word of God,
Come, Heal, Restore with Love...
Teach my heart and heal my soul.
I need you... and that is all.

I know, through my struggles, you are molding me to a better person.
So if we pray and not get what we want in an instant,
there's a reason.
And I also learned that when we get what we prayed for,
we've to sacrifice, for, there's a reason.

Lord, let your will be done.
Take me to your sanctuary.

Reality Bites

2010-02-22T00:38:00.003+08:00

So I have to be honest to myself and to us.

I just realized that once more, I don't wanna be treated this way.
I told you I needed you today, that very moment,
but you weren't there.
You'd rather do something else.
I realised I am not important as compared to your paper work.
I needed you now, you weren't there.

Had a usual tiring day at work.
I decided to drop by the library near your home cz that's where I needed a book I had to borrow.
I was so happy to know you're gonna meet me there...
I played the game of "look for me"...
Gave you clues to where I was...
But you said you're heading to popular first...
so buying your stationary was the reason why you ended up meeting me.
You texted me too saying you had to head to do your inventory...

And when we finally met, there was a pause...
We acted as friends, just friends.
No kiss, No Hugs, no sweet moves.

I thought we could just talk...
catch up.
But I was just there to keep you company -once again.

You told me to go home when we just met.
I said I wanted to spend time with you...
You said You've to do your inventory...
So to be just where you are, to just catch up, to just feel you close, to just fill your sayings that you miss me, I went to where you needed to go.

So you were done...
You walked me to the bus stop just to realised in the end that you're not seeing me home..
because you had to re-do your inventory list.
Barely having 10 items in there, that was more important huh?
I know you're to re-do the layout...
Is that gonna take days to complete that you can't even spare me an hour to see me off?
I thought you said you missed me...
now I know theyre plain bullshit.

At the bus stop I took the courage to open up to you, all the pains, all the disappointments...
You knew your weaknesses... are you gonna work on them or just let it slip and slip?

I don't wanna be treated this way anymore.
I'm getting tired of travelling just to spend time with you,
just to work things out.
I don't feel loved, I dont feel cherished, I dont feel important, I don't feel like I am your girlfriend...
I think I'm just one of those girls you had where you needed a gap to fill that space you have.
Ayaw ko na...

I dont know what you're doing.
Whenever I get to, it's all been planned and all you had to do is carry it out.
You dont like my romantic-comedy movie flicks,
well, that's what you need to learn!
I am tired of the initiatives of texting you
-your whereabouts, what you're doing, i miss yous, i loveyous, greetings of the day...

I am tired of the sacrifices, I ran out of energy.
Way too long, now that w're going 2 years, I thought a relationship
should grow deeper, sweeter, stronger...
but you're not doing you're part and I am sickly of it all.
It's your turn...
just don't be surprise when one fine day I am telling you my flight is in an hour's time...
where all I had to do is carry it out like how you've always been doing.

A heart breaks into 2...
I realised,
I thought love's
you + me...
but I cant see you.

So there's no wonder woman do not go for younger lads...
yes they do date... just because they want their sex life to be active.
I watched Lipstick Jungle.
Not too bad a show
I learnt and realised something regarding my life.

tuesday, 9th Feb '10

2010-02-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

I am currently listening to Chris Brown's single, Crawl.
I first heard it from Kina Grannis, then I had the original played on a replay.

Today started off with a joke at work.
Cz I wasnt due to work.
I thought the monthly schedule was fixed,
like how last week proved that to me -I was wrong.

I got myself an all time favorite, blueberry muffin, well-toasted with 2 1/2butter and jam. hehehe :)
I had a bite of "dhal wrap bento set" but it just didnt allure my tastebuds.
I did ate the leafy salad though and for a moment, I felt like an animal in a ranch. haha... cz i was really eating just leaves and this vinegar that came with it.
It stinks when left for too long. it can cause air pollution in a room, swear! haha.

And then....
Karen decided she got the chance to actually buy her contacts.
My glasses are terrible at work. They are not for service at all.
So I headed at Yishun, got 3 pairs of them for a value of 35, not too bad, cz its 15 a pair.
Then i decided to pamper mahself a lil...
so i headed at where our cuzzies have our eyebrows done :)

Did alil window shopping, went home on an almost rainy day.
I called sch for enquiries about the tests and they were not much helped.
she literally didnt answer me and left me with 2 words, shall we say "key words?"
"Creativity and Sketching... just bring your materials stated in the paper." -asst.
crraaap. duh. like all of beyond those words are artsyfartsyness. i mean, its the slightest dash to describe art.

moving on...
i was to go gyming with mates and a swim daw.
so i had an hour to nap which ended 2 hours, got lazy so stayed home. hahaha.
i played half of the song "glitter in the air", yey!!
Brilliant! there's the part 2 of his video... i havent gotten around there cz i became hungry and i decided to do sketches. :D
Yey! i got to do 2 sketches from catalog! hehehe...
there was an urge to draw HIM since ive not completed wat i wanna give him. :P
so from 8 till now, 11pm, that song is on a replay.

we gotta sleep by 1130.
im wrkin on straight days again.
Lord, increase my strenght and love! hehehe.

Goddblessy'all!

8th Feb 2010

2010-02-08T23:57:00.003+08:00

"Who is it that you're coming home to, how does it feel like to hold you?"

lalaang..
i tend to listen more to love songs just to ease the pain.

You gotta watch Pink's performance during the Grammy's.
I am not a fan of hers, but after that standing ovation and raved performance,
I am starting to notice her. I loved her "Glitter in the air."
I listened to her Funhouse album and actually liked it.
Funny how "Please don't leave me" single got stuck in mah head right after my nap today.
I am considering of getting her album...
buh... there's a want of me to get an ipod nano... damn. 288!! heeeeh. or iphone nlg?

its Feb na.
I am missing school.
Ive tests to sit for 3d design on the 20th.
I need to change working days for that.
and also for the fashion merchandise on the 3rd march.
ive to apply for dae this week.
i need to get my art supplies.
i need to stay focus and stop being distracted esp emotionally.
cz if these doesnt work....i'd go for that last resort.
which, apparently, i am kinda looking forward to it.

I miss my bestfriend.
I miss the everyday talks...

Broken

2010-01-21T00:51:00.000+08:00

You left your fingerprint here in my heart with its crazy emotions I can't seem to redefine.

Im listening to Charice's single, "Fingerprint" then I came up with that line...
I know I can continue..
But I decide to sleep with the pain tonight.
I know I'd feel better tomorrow... :)

I wanna get Charice's album :D

Inside her thoughts, she speaks

2010-01-11T23:59:00.004+08:00

Inside her thoughts, an excerpt:

Family Bond is so important...
inside her family, she sees that one precious element is missing.
Everyone's busy with their own lives
-A family seeming to be of tenants living under one roof,
bearing the same surname....

She's sad to have read her lil sister's journal.
The journal requirement for school, which teacher's read.
She told her there are things that her lil sister shouldn't be telling a stranger.
Yet the lil sister said that it's her assignment, it's her teacher.
Clear to see that She knew her lil sister doesn't find her teacher as a stranger,
Twas hard to explain to her that, some things are meant to be kept private.
She told their mother about it and well, she let it be liberated.
(I saw sadness, exhaustion in my mom's face everyday, I get so sick, so helpless in seeing that... I wish I could just take it and throw it away.)
Mom just said, "Let it be, she already wrote what she needed to."

There were pangs in my heart.
I interrogated my sister about the things she wrote.
Most are negative. It was hard to digest the reality that broke my heart.
I simply asked her and tried to reasoned my ways to her such as the necessity to do housework cz she doesnt like doing those and well, she very well remembered that we quarreled over that.
I had to explain to her that there are quarrels that are good and bad.
And came the "bond" thingie.
She qualms, "But there's no bond."

Its like I have to be a parent to my 'LiL', now teenage sisters.
Parents are not going along well too.
I dont know why.
Said I gotta talk to them...

Dang its hard when you gotta do it -the right thing.
So I succumbed to turning the lights off cz I dont want to see my tears falling down the mirror.
Im squinting in the light of the laptop in reliance for typing correctly...

My dear boyfriend calls. I know he's worried.
But there's just that feeling of wanting alone..
and i dont think im ready to talk 'shit' stuffs like that with him...
I dont know, it seems surreal... we've not reached that kinda openness... i think.
(fam? nah-ah...)

I always read "verse of the day"
and today was this:
the earlier blog is what's written.
Parang ano yan eh, "Daily Horoscope."
I've learnt, through a man of God, na Daily Horos have this "evil" thing connected to them.
So better not rely on them cz its the works of the evil one...
So I choose daily verse of the day to perk me up and get through life.
Voila, it is! I feel na with these probs, I know Im gonna be a better person... what He wants to mold me into...
I just gotta do what's right.... and that righteousness is so hard to do it gets me teary-eyed.

So behold, its true... He saves those people close to you -first.
Lord.... ang hirap... pls be with me, I can feel you, make me at ease, lets do this slowly and surely.
I need your assurance, grace, love, patience...

Note:
Bring LilNicola out on her bday.
Make her feel like a princess.
Give her what she wants, get her a bday cake,
watch movies, skate, cycle till the day ends.

Psalm 118:5-6 (NIV)

2010-01-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
— Psalm 118:5-6 (NIV)

Thoughts on Today's Verse...
The beginning of the year has been a trying time for people I care about. Maybe it's been that way for you or those you love. My prayer for you, and for them, is that they may know the comfort of God's presence. Whether it's the popular little poem "Footprints" or the familiar "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me," the presence of the Lord is absolutely vital to standing up against our anguish! The Lord does long to be with us, especially at those moments when we feel most alone. He told us that by experiencing anguish, alone, by himself on the cross.

My Prayer...
I am thankful, O God, that you refused to be God from a safe distance. Because you came and felt what it was like to be abandoned, forsaken, and alone, I know I can trust that I will never be forsaken by you. Please give me a clearer sense of your presence with me in my life today, I pray through Jesus. Amen.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

Stepping Stones

2009-12-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

I titled it as Stepping Stones because in every stone, there's a lesson learn:
(these are my personal experiences, mainly at work and social gatherings. :) )

Unspoken Hurt

So yes, I think Ive grown tired of listening to a close friends's blabberings about her dissatisfaction over another person's "short comings."
It got sickening cz I told my friend to confront him/her over caused hurt/ unsatisfaction/ expectation matter.
It went on repetitions... my friend learnt... but (yah, the BUT) she wasnt doing it the right way... BUT i think that's enough to keep the weight of my friend's chest.

Sometimes whenever my friend shares the problems knowing our victims can be present any moment, I hope that we're not gossiping... lol... ahaa.. no, I think we're just picking out their bad points and want their improvement for the good of everybody. :)

Child-like attittude

So Yes, its true when they say that "there's a child in every person."
It's such a turn off and what a wake up call to realise and witness for myself that given any age of a person, not every one is perfect.
There are obvious child-like attittude problems and the adult doesnt seem to act the norms of an appropriate maturity... it is up to us to decide and realise that... because come to think of it, we may not notice the flaw for we learn our life lessons in different ways. Ways meaning, some are quick to notice for they have experience as their backup or anothers are still literally growing up. (get wat I mean? :) )

Rold-modeling

It stinks sometimes... whenever you feel tired and there's the obligation of having to keep your every move at work, school, church or any society/organization you're involved with on par.
Yea... secret is, you just gotta love what you do so the pressure is absent...
Just have fun... really.... you'll make it at the end of the day... :)

Faith

I've learnt to cling on Jesus everyday of my life.
What I do is start and end my day with a prayer, then bible readings at night to complete it.
I've learnt that lately, I feel incomplete if I don't start my day with a prayer....
because my actions are always violated by the devil. Know what Im saying?
Or rather, driven by the devil... it still scares me whenever I say 'devil' but if you just trust in God in EVERYTHING, you just feel at ease..... :)
I needed a mini scripture with me whenever I go....
I listen to christian music whenever I travel...
I sing and hum the songs and they never fail to keep me happy:)
Yes, Jesus is alive.
And I also noticed that I'm not egoistic anymore.
Im more humble... because Jesus is the one who holds my every situation.
I know he is there and He is in control... Im just his passenger sit and Im loving the ride...
I just have to be careful, remain faithful and always be under his refuge and remain active in church:)
He has bigger plans, ideas, surprises... things I cant control in my life... And I believe He knows what's already best for me...
Mahirap kasi kung lagi nalang ikaw ang sariling boss...
Have Faith.

Intelligence

Gee... Ok, so I do find myself stammering and being conscious whenever I speak to our regular customers (at Starbucks).
They are already a handful whom I find kinda comfy talking to...
(There are estimatedly about 40 regular customers in our store)
Yes, KINDA... idk... maybe because they're the bunch of working people and most of them, I can tell are successful and living on more than an average kinda lifestyle.
(They're mostly white... and their accents are just a wack!)
I still have that insecurity but deep down, I'm anxious and excited whenevr I get to talk to them.
There's just alot to learn by just looking at them, speaking to them when I take their orders... and IDK... there's the part where we need to talk to customers (its a friging compulsory thing at work... and sometimes it tends to be personal i keep a boundary right there... sometimes im not even sure if my questions are provoking, too personal or maybe even rude? gee! i get conscious... dang it.... I need help in this area. haha! FIIISH!

Time-Management

Our store is the 2nd busiest among the 64 stores island-wide.
Yes it is tiring at the end of the day. The tiredness only sinks in when I get home, get a rest... (sitting down) when I get my rest outside (like in church) it gets kinda lazy to go anywhere else.
Well, that is NOW.
Im still getting used to the gimicks.
Im tryna lesson why gimmicks after work esp when I know Im working the next day.
It sucks to compromise sometimes because you wanna catch up with your friends, get something to praise yourself for a welldone-job... but you have to go home, get enough sleep, or else, you'd be a bummer at work. A total dreamer. You don't wanna be in that condition at a Starbucks working environment. NEVER. Or rather, in any job you're in.
There goes the expectations again... and wanting to be better to where you're in now.
(ya know, like moving up the ladder... becoming a manager or more :) )

Spending

I am still learning to save my money instead of taking cabs xp

Health

I mean FOOD and EXERCISE.
Eesh.... I have to EAT ON TIME and EXERCISE...
gotta stop the bad habit of not eating and goin to work on the dot.
The hunger pang gets me real quick and I rely on water or milk to keep that off.
When I get to have my break, I eat more than the required meal for that time cz I tend to go on:
Brunch and Lunchner.
Again, not good.

Exercise...
Ive cancelled my California Fitness Membership...
Im still waiting for the confirmation... ahaha.
I can still go this month...
but er... the first thing that comes to mind is "tired", "lazy", "extra baggage."
And that's not good.
I've leant that it actually perks me at work the next day.
Im more efficient and more than on top of the job requirement.
Gotta be more confident though on going alone cz Im not used to that yet, boohoo!

I'll end it here.
Im tired already. Im helping tmrw at work for a missing shift required.

Nanyt everybody!
Seize Life! GOdblessYou!

Hello=)

2009-11-18T20:34:00.000+08:00

Heya!
It's been a while since I blogged.
Each time I get online I end up with either Email, Facebook and Youtube.
I went back to writing back to my diary.

Updates. Quickie ones.
Orchard Road is once again lit up.
It'll be nice to take pics down the road=)
Oh yea, Ive already got pics and they're all at Facebook.
I got tagged. so go checked them out esp when ur away from town. lol.
hassle free.

Ive been confirmed. 14th Nov 09.
I'm tryna sleep early.
Im trya be home early. lol.
Im tryna stop taking cabs everywhere I needa/wanna go.
I need a new piggie bank. Atm is too tempting since Im usually out.
Ive to start eating healthy. Eesh... Im starting to abhor eating out. Same old choices.
2012 is a good movie.
I've been attending cheer parties and I got goodies.
Last Monday at Citylink I got balloons, lotsa chocolates cz they throw cadbury chocs at you when you get to answer their questions after the "coffee seminar."
I got a goodie bag containing Sb's 2 lollipop flavors, cherry and lemon.
A bell, mini musical instrument, a girly smiley face (cz its with lashes) and a 12oz free beverage coupon=)
I got the Creative mp4 player fixed but when I got home to checked, its still the same.
Essh. i gotta get back to Marina.
I want a new hairdo.

Today was Or's cheer party.
I got a gift for answering a charade qn correctly. hehe.
i bet that's a tumbler. awesome gift.
I got vouchers too. Another 12ozfree beverage coupon and a $5 voucher for the Christmas Retail=)
Ofcourse, fond memories=D
We took lotsa pics. I hope to get tagged again at Facebook.

Another reason why Im not updating is cz Facebook does it.
My frens take pics and I simply ask them to tag me and thats how you know what Im up to.

Lovelife is cool.
Im becoming a better person---
=P

Sis is at Msia for 3 days.
She didnt have enough money to get the jacket I wanted. huhu.
I wasnt mentally prepared on what she can get at K.L for me anws.
Ive been sleepin on her bed cz my bed's filled with all my washed clothes.
Been to lazy or "no time" in comparting them back to where they should be in the closet.

I got new shoes again. hehehe...
brown stilettoes from Fly London. Shoes from them are very comfy.
I was lucky to get my size cz it was the smallest and handful small sizes they've left with.

Ive got Elf makeup brushes. =D
I wanna get YvesSaintLaurent's mascara and Shu Umera's 04 compact powder.
Mine ran out=/
I used it for... 6 months i suppose.

Im starting to miss my childhood friends.
everyone's a musician or link to music somehow...
they're a master of a certain instrument and yes, theyre in a band.
dang... ive been craving for music actually since the player's down. it barely plays a full song.
thats another reason why im online... just to stay in tune. i prefer christian's top hits lately at Aol.

I love playing the taptap revenge, rock band in bro's iphone.
i hope starhub starts to partner with apple. i want one kasi. huhu.
phone contract's ending this Sunday! oosh~

Well.... oh yea, there was a store outing last....8th Nov.
lol... wat happened in Pasir Ris stays at Pasir Ris.
Twas fun..... and green... and delicious=)

Gdnyt people!
Godbless

Fragile

2009-10-05T23:47:00.002+08:00

(Please Make It As A Song...)

So I managed to write this. wala lang...
It reminded me of the day when I wasn't feeling good...
the following is what I felt...
Partly, the inspiration came from Sara Bareilles gravity song,
and the challenge was from him... (you know who you are. thanks.)

----

Fragile

I was fragile for a day

The day I thought I’m out of love,

You’ve set me free

It left me at dazed

Broken pieces I held onto

Clinging onto them as if complete

Treating you like the same,

Nothing’s changed, always there

Yet I drown in aches of reality

I see couples like the way we used to be

I lost you, I needed to move on, and bid our love a due.

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long

Your ways are customized in my life

I wished I could make it better

Wished you’d tailor me back

Take my fragility and accept us

‘Cause we’re stronger as we face the world together

I love you

and I know,

you still feel the same way too.

5oct09
2330

life

2009-09-29T20:45:00.003+08:00

results are out.
exam results are a relief. miracle.

life's a mess.

i'm still getting rid of a bad habit.

i get so lost at times...

im gettin sick of the job...

i dont really know what to aim now..
i feel so lifeless..
i know a need a hug... but i dont go get it...
cz im afraid i'd break down.

ang tagal ng vacation ko na to.
work is tiring me out...
used to tie the lose ends of free time, but now its eating me up.
veins are poppin out of my hands and up to my arms=(
shet.

i've managed to clean the stains and dirt from my laptop today.
ang galing=)

ive started to learn a lil of the bass guitar.

the song of the moment: As I am -Melissa Polinar.

okay, i'll stop the rantings.
time to get a life.

Accomplished!! ^_^

2009-09-20T18:56:00.000+08:00

So I had this worst schedule of my life ever.
a straight 7am-4pm of straight 5 days which
ended up with an overtime cz I ended up with every shift at 5pm+. (except today=))
ggraaaaaaaaaaaabeh.

well, im thankful anws...
It thought me to force self-discipline again. haha.
To learn to handle time management in order to get
full rest for an expected 10hours shift of a busy busy store.
grabeh.

grabeh talaga.
Work and home lang ako. I cant go anywhere.
I had to restrict my fun life, my "getting a life."
Nevertheless,I got to go to church with my fam yesterday. =)

I am so blessed;
despite the 3rd day of being down with partner,
manager being late,
partners late (like meh den)
I managed to learn from this experience and trust in God=)
I love praying in the morning, trusting in Him and
at the end of the day, I just feel accomplished. =)
To end 5 days of hardwork and pain I had to go through,
(the store is a gym, not a service ground.
I had a sprained neck with all the fun we did [putting ice inside in each other's shirt],
back ache with all those heavy cutleries, plates and mugs,
I had lil cuts on my hardworking hands and 3 scars from the hot oven. sheeeee---)
I earned an extra 15 bucks hari raya haji green packet
with all clean, spanking green 5bucks notes=)

woohoo!!! off ko bukas! yehey!!!!
this week is a good week. i get the mid shifts..
no pastry-case/bar setting up.
no trash run, change trash and frap works=)
also, no busy n hectic long queue early in the morning=)
I Gotta teach mah sisters english, math and science.
part time teacher rin ako.

I got the FDC shirts ordered na! yehey!
i miss the dancing and and the crew

Saw the Istana was opened to the public today
as I made my way to work...
well, Ive never been there for the past 11 years.
ahaaa..
czzz... idk when it opens.

Hava good week y'all!
Godblessyou!

pagod na ako

2009-09-06T19:35:00.003+08:00

ayokooooooooooooo naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa----

bahala nlg si Lord:

im exhausted.

gotta give up some things.... and its so hard to do,
to decide and take a big big action.
ugh-- hating the frreeegin feeeeleng! UGH!!

A lil time, alil info about urs truly, Karen=)

2009-09-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

Wheres your boyfriend?

* sleeping at home... or perhaps now awake.

Name something you did yesterday?

* watched boys over flowers, took an exam, ate, watched 2 movie trippings. (gooosh.... the seafood platter was good esp wen its free. haha! tsk;) salamat!)

Last person you text messaged?

* honeeeehhhhh

What colour is your hair?

* black with strakes of brown

What was the last thing you cried over?

* shet, haha! Boys over flowers episode 24 and 25. shet shet shet!!! WATCH AND BE TOUCHED! hehe

Whats something you really want right now, be honest?

* a secured passionate job for life.

Is there anyone on your mind that shouldnt be?

* why shouldnt thy person be? geee. ang samang tanong. =P

Do you have a little sister?

* sisterS.

Do you like to listen to the radio when you are in the car?

* please.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?

* honeeee ^_^

What are you listening to?

* beautiful mess -Jason Mraz. if only i understand korean, i wouldve probably gotten the soundtrack of the boys over flowers show. =D

Do you sleep with a fan on?

* please.

Do you get good morning texts from anyone?

* please=) *nods*

Where is your cell phone?

* in the doggy handphone holder.

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?

* gotta.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

* im fine here. =P

Did you speak to your dad today?

* yeahuh. glad im able to. hehehe

Will tomorrow be better than today?

* sure it will!

Who DO you want to see right now?

* Gu Jun Pyo! hahahaha =P

Your current relationship status?

* gosh. taken... happpy.... and lotsa room for learning new experiences together with beautiful memories. i hope he's a lil sweeter though..... (sowie, but yea, i was kinda moved over the boys over flowers show, i want more than wats happening. heh! CARPE DIEM!)

Do you like it when you get kissed on the forehead?

* like?! LOVE! hehe

Are you waiting for something?

* to wait for something we've work hard on n feel achieved about it.
waiting for something we wanna do for good and hoping to share it with others.
waiting for a tennis game so i cud shed all the donuts, ice creams, cakes that ive been eating over the muggin periods.
im waiting for a good vacation somewhere in this world with people i love.
waitin for another moment at Bkk...
madami po. because to me, every day is a new day. u dont wait, u always seize every moment. u only wait because u know u cant wait to take the opportunity uve set to seize the day u already planned. (wow.. long ans. shet, sowie, biglang na inspired ata ako.)

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?

* i believe so.

Do you text message a lot?

* not really.... gotta mug. but i do love getting msges.

When is the next time you'll kiss someone?

* wats with the kisses? sheeze.

What was the last thing you drank?

* tazo zen tea (preffered with vanilla syrup)

What would your name be with the first three letters?

* Kar (vrroooom!!)

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?

* yes, wud love that.

Did you have a good day?

* today? haha! uhuh=)

*If you could move right now would you?
move? move out? no. there's no place in the world that can replace a family under one roof.

Are you happy with the way things are going right now?

* we can never be satisfied. but i am blessed and thankful.

Do you like being in pictures?

* doesnt have to be liked, cz i love to keep momentos.

Where will you be in an hour?

* slumber land.

Is your heart broken right now?

* its strong and beating=) thankyou.

How old are your siblings?

* 25, 15, 12

Do you believe in love?

* I do.

Do you think relationships are even worth it?

* in every way=)

Have you ever done anything outrageously dumb?

* yes.

Have you ever kissed anyone and never saw them again?

* hay- yes.

Where EXACTLY were you when you entered 2009?

* at the beach=)

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a D?

* bakit D? yes.

Have you ever been back-stabbed by a friend?

* i think so. i dont keep such memories.

Confused about anything?

* math? hahahahaha! tawa na dyan! hehehe

Do you prefer to call or text someone?
*prefer. call.

Do you have a secret that you arent telling anyone?

* no.

Love ones

2009-08-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I am missing all my loves ones -relatives and friends who are all around the world.
Saw their pics at friendster and facebook.
Then there were the ones who are around me yet they're so far.
Havent had the chance to hang out and catch-up with our lives and just enjoy life
the way we want...
It's tough growing up really... hehe. I miss being a kid.

well, circumstances doesnt allow you to do that all the time...
as for me, there's the exams still on going...
and they're busy with their own lives too...
thank God there's internet...
but I would so love to have my time with y'all in person.

And that strives me to just keep working hard. SAVE.
Roam and enjoy this land we are blessed with.

I miss you!
Seize Life~
Godblessy'all~
Hava good midweek ahead! tc~

nth

2009-08-24T22:46:00.006+08:00

just have to do what i have to do.
doing the right thing at every situation although it pains somehow.
(righteousness)

it's good relief to receive qns like "how are you, (karen) ?" with my added name as they ask.

Been having tags at facebook, random pics.
i did wanted to bring my own cam, but the last time i got my hands on it, it wouldnt switch on.
alot of people are having SLR cameras so i figured i'd get a few shots of that event anws.

Sbps store outing at Sentosa, 2nd Aug 09.

i cleaned up my room one fine friday -organised the lotions, make-ups and accessories.
next will be my wardrobe and library cabinet.

today, i changed my bed covers, theyre nt yellow. its stripes and dots of earthly tones.
my comforter is getting old -the feathers are falling off.
need new covers, still i prefer yellow sheets. they never fail to make me smile.

i asked for help from my sisters in cleanin up the house today.
hahaha... i know, ive been doing a lot of cleaning while preparing for my exams.
i just cant shudder the messy place it just bugs me and adds in the studying-stressness.

dang, cameras and their functions are getting my interests. esp at Jet's page and the progress ate Diana is making with her new camera=)
AND also... Ipod. shet. my contract's expiring this Nov.
And HooraY! no more fees for Cali fitness come Oct onwards! ^_^

Lovelife...
ahahaha ^_^
i just dont wanna hold on to something I'd end up dreaming about.
Seems to be there, just waiting to unfold and tell its fairytale come true ^_^
well, i read this:
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. -Proverbs 19:21"
it speaks to any part of our life na. Last sunday, the gospel was abt John 6... about choice and decisions. "but its different for Christian Choices and Decisions..."
Priest said that in every time we need to make a choice, we should always acknowledge that it's God's will that is working in it =)

Ive been reading the bible, started with proverbs. It has 30 chapters. its good for an everyday source of inspiration. Yey! im supposedly at chapter 24, just like today's date, 24th Aug 09.
I'd already advance to 26th =)

Words that bug me from the bible:
Folly:

1.	the state or quality of being foolish; lack of understanding or sense.

2.	a foolish action, practice, idea, etc.; absurdity: the folly of performing without a rehearsal.

3.	a costly and foolish undertaking; unwise investment or expenditure.

Sluggard:

–noun

1.	a person who is habitually inactive or lazy.

–adjective

2.	lazy; sluggardly.

Abominations:
–noun

1.	anything abominable; anything greatly disliked or abhorred.

2.	intense aversion or loathing; detestation: He regarded lying with abomination.

3.	a vile, shameful, or detestable action, condition, habit, etc.: Spitting in public is an abomination.

So yea, just gotta do what i gotta do---

Hava blessed week ahead!

Blessed Bday shoutouts to:
24th: Jet Abary
27th: Gino Babagay
30th: Mark Paune

today's just one of those days....

2009-08-22T20:53:00.000+08:00

today's just one of those days when you're so exhausted all you wanted was someone to give you that warmth hug, sleep in his arms comfortably and wakin up in the morning with a sweet smile on his face greeting you a good morning eye-to-eye and closing that charm with a kiss on your forehead.

im soooo dreaming-

bay beats is coming.

Blessed, Passionate and Caring Teachers

2009-08-20T19:48:00.000+08:00

Update! =)

This week is study week.
Optional to attend lectures or tutorials.
Got this mathematics class which I am so having a hard time. ahahaha!

Today's the last lesson we've had with him...
I learnt to see his passionate, devoted and a caring side.
My classmate and I came 5 minutes early and we were not expecting him
to be always on par. But he was. We saw him few feet ahead from the flight of stairs where we waited outside the classroom. He was always on time.

I rushed to gobble up all the knick-knacks that drove me hungry and went inside for class.
despite only having 2 students for his lecture, he started on time. He didnt depend on the people. He had to do his duty. Boy, that was so righteous. woo~~!!!

He did what he love -teach math.
He shared what he love. I noticed his glee and passion as we ask him questions on whats what- this- and- that and he patiently taught us. He empathized our weak positions and yet delivers his teaching in our level. He understands. He cares. Well, there's no wonder he's the head and coordinator of Engineering Mathematics. =)

Of all the scheduled lectures of 1hour and 30min every Thursday, he either extends the time or end on time if no questions were asked. Today was different. There were only 4 students over 30. He ended 30mins earlier and shared with us that he is undergoing an eye-operation.

My heart went out to him. There was no wonder his hair seem less fuller and he looked thinner compared to just a week ago.

Today I realized how blessed I am to be in a school of the best.
I realised that its not the facilities, the food, the area of school...
but it's the teachers and students who work together hand in hand that makes the success they bring to the name of the school. The teachers are the main reason.
I am blessed to have these teachers in my life who are teaching me and they made me see my weaknesses and made me strong.

I am thankful that I understand their subject not because they are afraid we would be better, its because they want us to be better than them=)
They want us to excel no matter what cost they have to do, only so we can succeed.

I learnt also that no matter how i dislike a subject, a passionate teacher can make that difference and prove me wrong. =)

I pray that my math teacher would have a good health and a successful operation.
I am blessed he not only taught us well in that subject, but just because of him and his character shining to us, that changed my life. It touched me, moved me and so here it is, im bloggin this out to share my happiness=)

Im changed for the better. Thank you 'Cher/Sir.

Touching life story.....

2009-08-19T18:15:00.000+08:00

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL. How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

I miss...

2009-07-10T04:44:00.000+08:00

I miss...

doing art work:
painting, drawing, sketching, coloring.
eating isaw, fish balls, inihaw na mais with some blacks in it, salted with margarine and made by the side walk. lol..
eating half-ripe mangoes stuck on a bbq stick with its seed taken off and placed with sweet bagoong on it. I preferred the sides swiped with bagoong rin.
kite flying at our backyard at home or even on top of the roofs. hahaha.
the cold night at baguio.
thick thick n big big comforters
my relatives esp my dad's sidemy tatay, nanay, auntie Elma, hommies and girlfrens at Scout Barrio
the family summer outingsthe picnics on the mountains anytime i want
getting letters in our mailbox or even sending out some. lol.
i miss riding in a jeepney.
hearing lil kids talk in tagalog
listening in a restaubar/bistro with a live band. i miss the jazz and the rocks. i miss my cousins' bands.
the attractive, mathematics and musically talented cousins in baguio
the place "Red cherries" in baguio.the long road trips
the fresh mountain scent
the big big cakes and many gatherings and partehs with frens and relatives with many pasalubongs and giftsfrench and italian clothings, accessorries and love from my titas
reading novels and digesting the flowery language and using them =)
his songs composed for me
his love letters
his american slang
his over the counter perks of positive and flirty convo
having enough sleep and being myself everytime -happy and in control. (cz lack of sleep makes me opposite = keep to oneself. Irritable. mouth closed. unentertaining.(boreng ah!)
cutting my daily life stories and having ppl/frens spontaneously GuEsSing the next incident of the event/happenings.
cycling around the village with lose frontwheel/screws
dance practs
out with mah cuzzies
skape

What's yours?

spontaneous DIY hair cut, google search

2009-06-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

HellO! +D

In the midst of studying, I ended up spontaneously leaving my study table and headed off for the laundry room.
Got a pair of scissors and started cutting my hair.
It's crazy, I know! haha.
This is my first attempt.
I wanted to just have my fringed/bangs cut cz they're irritating my eyes.
Well, that didnt work cz I went to consider my long hair too. ahahaha!

I did another round after cleaning up the hairy mess.
That's when Nikki got home and she was surprised to see my act.
ahahaha~ =D
I got nervous while she watched as I did the cutting style on the left... den it ended up not matching the right side.
Gosh... I started to sweat, started to fear of short hair. I was already thinking of going for a professional hairstylist do my hairdo. lol... so I had no choice but to cut the right side tip shorter...
I stopped when Nikki helped me clean up my hairy mess and she confirmed with me that the look is OkAy! hahaha I cut about 17cm or 7inches of my long hair. =)
The sweltering heat is getting into me and so is the self-sabonot thing whenever I woke up. So I dived into this DIY cut ur hair.

Left 2 pics are before. 3 pics to the right are Now =)
That hairdo in the magazine is what I've been wanting to have for a month now but I havent had the time to drop by a hair salon. I was having fun working. It tired me off always by the end of my shift.
Watcha think huh? lol.... ("layers are a must!")

And Then... IDK... got curious about "Gensan."
It actually means "General Santos City."
All the while I thought it wasn't a shortterm. I googled.
Learnt that it's the capital of tuna fish of the Philippines.
I think Manny Pac also resides in the region of Gensan, South Cotabato.
I read a few blogs about people who travelled there
mostly said about the mountains, the greenery, tuna farm, pineapples and resorts.
Weeeeh~~

Now talk about travelling and saving =)
So in the end of googling... I really think that Philippines could be a richer country compared to where I am now. tsk.

Hava good week ahead ppl!
Godblessy'all!

bible verses =)

2009-06-29T18:45:00.000+08:00

Matthew 6:25

2009-06-25T15:58:00.000+08:00

my life update

2009-06-22T19:36:00.000+08:00

22nd June 2009

grabeh, this is my last week of school and I've not done much schwork, really. shet.
work and church has been eating most of my time.
work is tiring me out. I am thankful I woke up energised today.
somehow, i still can't kick the habit of not doing anything.
I have to be occupied till the wee hours of needing my rest.
I am immunizing my body of waking up as early as 5am cz I've to be at work at 645am.
Ive learnt not to work everyday during my sch break because it can really tire you out.
Alternative days are a better choice.

The past 2 weeks of school break has been awesome.
Im tremendously blessed with the many guest pastors we have this month at Bkk.
I am grateful to have received messages from churches over the weekends before my birthday last 15th. The message spoke more on how to love yourself, my prophesy, loving the negativity in life and making God work in the center of your life no matter the negativity in life.
The only one who knew my prophesy is honey, haha. syempre.
I am still adjusting and trying to proclaim what it is said. slowly and surely.
Check out Pastor Gabby's church at Manila and Baguio city and also heart of worship at Manila. Philippines. =)

My birthday.
haha... okay... so it's the weirdest ever.
HOnestly not my ideal way of celebrating it but it was enough to make me satisfied that im out with friends and somehow "celebrating" it.
Thank you so much for all those who remembered me on my birthday. Thank you for the greetings, wishes and love =)
My highlight for that day is someone made my day better. It got the better of me.
He thought me things that changed me for the better, for my benefit and Im thankful that you really cared. Thank you for showing me your love, abundance of patience I have ever came across with, you knew how to break the walls of my prudence and make me realise the wrong motive/did I was doing. Thank you for your perserverance although somehow it did cut me a little I hope you were more subtle next time -but thanks. I guess I deserve that humilation huh? waheeeh =P

Momentous.

2009-06-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

To everyone I know, this is for You:

Momentous

Evidence we kept
learnt and perceived
the good things that we wanted,
the things we dislike and learnt to love it,
that even if something didn't work out,
seeing the momento would be a shared language for a minimum of two.

And when I saw those, it brought up the moments of us
Of how I was getting to know you and you getting to know me
Would you have thrown those momentous away...
Could it have made you stronger or weaker as the thought rumbles in arrays?

Inconsistent happenings we need to abide
For this is how life gives us our joy rides
As they say we can go up or down...

But no matter the direction,
No matter how time will need to measure
A momento defines us and shapes us
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow and in Future.
So no matter what happens, let's stick to each other.
Life is short, and it does matters =)

Thank you for coming in to my life.
In every way, in the sincerity of my heart,
I am glad we met. You are a blessing to me,
and you, my momento, I will ever keep. =)

-Karen Gutlay

le7juin2009.3:20am

Indescribable Feeling

2009-03-25T20:35:00.000+08:00

Unwritten devotions just written in my head
My mind’s filled with thoughts of indecision making me fickle
Every given time I think of you and how you are
Wishing I could see you whenever we can

My heart leaps upon your sight
I love the moments when it does
It’s a healthy feeling I wanna have it on repetitions
Seeing you will be enough

Could this feeling last forever?
What if it fades away like plants on earth?
I’ll get unhealthy and eventually wither and die
That’s the cycle of love, isn’t it?

Indescribable feeling I enjoyed,
Indescribable feeling I detested
Indescribable feeling I learnt from
-allowed me to learn the things my heart permitted me to love,
for as long as it can.

Tarnish the aches it creates in me,
No one likes that feeling
It's like an admission to a hospital
With no medications but you alone
The recuperation for it all.

Written by: Karen Gutlay
25/03/09. 1220am.

Happy birthday Uncle Jorge and Kuya Glenn! woohoo! Godblessubothmen! I love you both! mwahugs~

Special People

2009-03-25T19:59:00.000+08:00

In this world of our own
we're usually alone
needing companion
to help us in our lives all along

That someone need not be special to us
for as long as we can discuss
about our daily lives with them

But there will be times when we meet someone
who opens their world to ours,
they welcome our differences;
embrace our problems;
overcome tough life situations with us;
always celebrating successes;
always there without limits;
and then maybe these exhibits a love occurence...

Times like these it's either we give or take,
stay or break.
as hopefully in the end.
what we decide
is something we didn't wish
or cause our own hurt.

Don't act foolishly when times are hard
be smart,
think more than twice
For in our lives
the special people are always hard to find
like God's angels in disguise

-Karen Gutlay
24/03/09. 1203am

SuperPoke! @ myFacebook

2009-03-24T21:13:00.000+08:00

Mom's the greatest

2009-03-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

My mom's the greatest.
Despite my given age of freedom, she still cares so much about me
she never fails to text me a day when she knew whats best for me
like my inconsistency of being late out/up at night.
I love you Mama =)
Thank God for You.

1:05am17march09

A story: Sweet moves you make 2

2009-03-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

Would I dearly miss these sweet days where we agree
on setting a date and time to meet and do something fun together?

Another chance of bonding,
another chance of getting to know you more
than I already knew.
Learning things I dislike or don't really do but you teach them to me,
You bring me to this world I can actually enjoy.

The arcade was fun.
The last time I was there was actually....
during my elementary days here. WAHAHA. grabeh noh? yea..

Seeing you eat your favorite food,
digesting in and guessing on what ingredients are used in a tantalizing dish
was a great conversation we had. =)

Thanks for the consistent punctually you portray.
Thanks for the effort of taking the time to see me home first
when you could have gone home.
Thanks for carrying some of my stuffs =P
but I'd really prefer if you carry them all. hahaha...
Go the extra mile, because bottom line is,
I still find myself shy around you sometimes,
I don't know why =P. (wahaha)

Today was awesome.
The most beautiful memory about meeting you today
was seeing you wait for me after work, you, smiling,
and I just stood there, looking at you,
while you sat there, looking at me...
as if we're relieved to be spending some
time together again =)
And then we'd do the beso beso thingie,
(I know, ikaw nlg lagi ang nagsstart. haha!
You keep blowing me away kasi. ahahaha...;) )
Movies are sweeter when I watched with you
cz you're the extra cusion. ahahaha=D

To end,
You know I love you,
Karen Gutlay.
1:00am. 17march09

Just today

2009-03-16T21:15:00.000+08:00

Good morning. Its 1245am and I am again infront of my laptop.
Couldnt really do my usual stuffs online cz I can't steal any connection. Haha..
Dont wanna switch on ours cz my parents are gonna be disturbed.

Survived work today.
I easily got dehydrated with the sore throat i am still suffering from.
I still have flu.
Had to steal some time to bring along a cup of water whenever
I got the chance to go back the room and do some back room stuffs like
taking some hot tall sleeves.
I ate the blueberry muffin in exchanged of my usual cheese bagel+butter+creamcheese = toasted.

I asked to be not at the PoS register cause of my poor throat and nose condition.
I was at the bar most of the time. I got the hang of doing many drinks. 10? wooo =)
I was able to do bearing with Ronizah/Lianna =D
I was able to stay calm.
I learnt to make the drinks topnotch, no short-cuts cz I feel Im cheating the customer,
which shouldnt be that way, never that way.
I saw Dennis Keller was in our store all along. wahaha.

Almost wanted to cancel the date with Honey.
He's going back to camp soon...
there goes my aches sipping slowly to my heart, but I don't let it soak in.
Gotta be stronger, cz its for the better.
Gotta keep doing what im doing.
Well, its good this way, ya know, that Im working though he's here for
10 days off at camp. I dont wanna be around him most of the time,
because there's always the desire to be away from him so that I can miss
him therefore making me cherish him more. wahaha.

We ate at MFM, Manhattan Fish Market. Thank you loads to Ralph who catered to us.
Watched the 2nd last showing of "He's just not that into you."
Honey actually had fun and I thought otherwise. Haha.. =)
Didnt expect of all people he would be the one I'd end up watching the film with,
cz those kinda shows are not his cup of tea.

Goodnyt! (another day has gone. gosh. a day to release of freakin exam results)

1257am. 17march09

A story: Sweet moves you make:

2009-03-15T21:53:00.000+08:00

Church ended late. Ate dinner and window-shopped for a moment.
It was time to go home. I knew the boy wouldn't send the girl home.
So the girl said to the boy, "Go take your bus, go head home already."
The boy didn't seem to hear what he said. He told the girl he was tired and if it's okay to not see her off. However, he sent her at the queue of her bus while they both wait for its arrival.

He might have noticed the disappointment in her charade.
The bus arrived and they walked the line headed to the bus. He was insisting his goodbyes and exchanged beso-beso (kisses) which failed cz the line needed to be kept on moving. The girl can't stop midway and cause interruption. She taught, "Yea, bye. mwah"
They reached the entrance of the bus, she got in, he left.

She took the stairs up in the double decker bus. Sat near the window where he still could be seen. All hopes must have drained as she sat there waiting for the bus to take its leave.
She took her strepsils and drank water to pass the time while doing so a lady sat beside her.
Wanting to be occupied she took out her New Moon novel and then suddenly,
a familiar figure walked by.

It was him. She looked at him in surprised and even more so when he found a sit just behind her diagonally.
Fazed, she hid her happiness and bewilderment over his presence.
In the early moments of travelling the boy summon his courage to asked the passenger infront of him,
"Excuse me, is it ok with you if we exchange sits?"
The lady shook her head and said, "No."

Ofcourse, the girl heard his attempt and exchanged of conversation. Her heart melted for she was touched in his move. She didn't realise he was going to do that for she already believed it was as if he wasn't there anyway.

He nudged her on her right shoulder proclaiming and sharing his shocking failed attempt over the lady. His expression was written all over his face yet the girl found him even more attractive. Not because of his newly shown facial expession but by his act of wanting to actually sit with her during the ride. (How sweet)

It wasnt long enough when he found an empty sit for 2 infront of them. He nudged her again, told her to move places with him infront. She stopped reading her book, and left for the sit in front.

They were together at last. The girl asked in the midst of reading her book,
"Why are you here?"
He said, "Nothing, I was just interested of the book you're reading."
She then stop, hugged her booked and took a rest for she knew what he meant.
Her eyes were feeling the pangs of a needed sleep. She was grateful he was there to lend his shoulders and so she leaned over left shoulder and took a nap.

He sat up so she could have a good posture. He made sure her head was not disturbed much during the ride. He protected her face with his hand. In her mind, she was thinking if he was praying by how his hand suggests his move over her head. Still, it was a sweet picture for the two. Their reflection was upon a window screen. She noticed the lady who sat beside her, she was looking at them and she knew she missed her beloved one too. He leaned his head against hers to feel closer..

It was a bus ride to remember as he held her closer to his chest and she could feel the thumps of his hearbeat against her ear. The way he had his arm around her shoulder made her feel secure; warmth of his embrace and a music in his heart and occassional drummings of his right fingers on the chair made them feel complete. (ngeh, hahaha)

She remembered the bear he gaved her on Valentines day. It was a bear who has its arms knitted together in a hugging manner. She did that to him in the few bus stops away. She treated him like the bear he gave her, human version. haha.

He walked her home exactly then, his bus came in a few meters away. They exchanged their beso besos. She took the extra mile of hugging him back rather than their usual smacks.

And as the bus took its leave, she looked passed the windows in search of her love one.
He was already sitted, smiling and waving his arms as they bid their goodbyes.

The end.
-Karen Gutlay
01:52, 16march09

There is something in the way...

2009-03-15T21:04:00.000+08:00

There is something in the way
I noticed about your face
Your eyes twinkle and spark
Just like how novels describe a person whom they like
Your eyes look so happy and bright
I can't help but to notice the difference

There is something in the way
You amaze me with surprises
It's things money can't buy
Boy you don't know how much you move me
Every time you do, I summon the extra courage to let you know
There is more to say of my I love yous
Because I know I should say You're making me fall more in love you
Making you love you more than I knew I would, could, should

I wanna cater to you
Like no one else have done or would do
I wanna treat you more
Like no one else have done or would do
I wanna love you more
Like no one else have done or would do
You're the treasure I found,
the treasure I am keeping,
the treasure I will cherish
and thank God time allows us to do this

Thank you for the sacrifices you have made
Thank you for embracing the faults or differences we have shared in between the squabbles
You enrich our love, making us stronger
We work as a team and I love how we linger
Despite the ups and downs in life

I wanna cater to you
Like no one else have done or would do
I wanna treat you more
Like no one else have done or would do
I wanna love you more
Like no one else have done or would do
You're the treasure I found,
the treasure I am keeping,
the treasure I will cherish
and thank God time allows us to do this

There is something in the way
how we work out our bonding as time passes by
There is something in the way
this is inexplicable and profoundly true
There is something in the way
I always look forward every minute we can be together
and may it last forever this joy I have found in you

00:30-00:59
16March2009
-Karen Gutlay.

Love Calculator

2009-03-12T08:39:00.000+08:00

I dont really know how that works.
Tami's iphone just came out with the results when my girlfrens and I got together last 2 Jan 2009 to catch up and Tami ignited the conversation with partnering names.

Avah, what a lucky pick. haha.
Thanks Tami =)
Dune for the idea of capturing that results.
Meron pang isa eh, the pic you took with me at the background but I think it's still in mah received files so I havent got to upload it here.

Thank you again.

I miss y'all na =)

Late nights and How I am doing. =)

2009-03-10T21:21:00.000+08:00

Gosh, some people think I can fake my age at 16 years old. haha. is that good or what?

It's 1am. an hour ago before I got home, as usual, I found myself slumped infront of my laptop. There's always this temptation that gets me to switch it on despite no matter in hand to really do accept the overrated usuals: Messengers, see who's online but hardly anyone I chat with cz I usually appear offline/invisible. Facebook, Friendster, Multiply, Youtube, Hotmail and Blogger. That's all really.

I am attached at PS-Sb for not just this week but the whole of March. Gosh, is that great or what? haha..

Its a different environment there. A mix of customers and alot more varried orders. Way more volume than to my store.

I dont feel much effort on being done towards my CDR (talking to customers) cz of the high volume for fear the next customer is waiting, perhaps they even thinking Im gossiping or even flirting when in fact, Its part of OuR JoBs, or the conversation takes so long Ive to abruptly end it and judged to be rude by the customer? haha... You can't tell.

The oddest conversation today was with a Computer Programmer who works nearby the area. He Loves programming and Hell I dont. well, we had a great conversation but I caught myself in a surprise to realise Ive asked this question: "You like what you're doing?"
GOSH. hah... i guess whenever I do CDR those customers I talk to can easily say Im not from here... ahhahaha! =P

The other thing to get used to in that store is their DOORS. and "welcome" them on the top of our lungs. sheezie.

I am recovering and trying not to get use to sleeping late or getting comfortable at night cz in the morning, I get all sorts of messages and missed calls in my phone I barely entertain or reply to them. which is bad right? hah... and instead of seizing the day, I end up snoring to bed and getting the proper sleep and appropriate time.
It's hard for my body to adjust to sleeping on the correct timing cz school gets badly affected. boohoo.. so im really cautious now to an extent that Ive let my managers know about this. woa? haha..

I'm learning the keyboards by myself and it feels awesome! hehe... I felt my time was spent wisely and it made me addicted to polish what I know... and maybe play in the music ministry? aww... =D

There are things I wanna share with y'all. Overfloading pics from Christmas to New Year cz some of them I had just received, the Vday (hehe) and the inbetweens of school and wherever. I need to plan my time but I usually go along with whatever I feel like doing or whats more important so such things are left hangin and loaded. oh well. =) My holidays are going good. Just busy and Im satisfied.

I should be sleeping right now. As usual, Im the last one in the family to come home and turn in to bed.
Goodnite amigos!
Godblessy'all.

Happy 11th monthsa Honey, ya know I love you. =) mwa~

untitled composition

2009-03-07T21:12:00.000+08:00

scribbled in riddles
the thoughts in my head
about the past weeks and months
we've extinguished or ignite
goes in and out of my head

there's a yearning in my heart
to get you alone
not insecure
but to set you free
and make the most of life abundantly

i wanna be there
then my mind fickles for the ironic choice
who will drive my soul?
ure the shadow that disappears
yet i find security when you are near

i miss you
so longing to be with you
come back soon
let's catch up things about our lives
being with you wherever is enough to keep me satisfied

0202
8march2009

behind the piece of composition:
kinda guilt-conscious for not signing up for the song composition classes this break.
(only because not a single person signed up)
but i guess i can come up with pieces like that on my own,
just guess that its how a song is written.
ahaha..
well, all it needs is a melody and someone to make it alive -singer

i wrote that because of something relating to my life right now.
got some pieces of phrases from the Lights whom
this famous rnb singer sang it by her own version at youtube.
ive been replaying it for an hour now.
here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTalHUOrqdo&feature=channel
Shes a great young singer, pretty too. =)

And today's message at church was:
BE JOYFUL ALWAYS! Its a command.
and at the back of my head, cant help but think:
we need to feel sad at times to appreciate the things around us... for a moment at least cz always is difficult to do. dba? hehe

happysundayppl~
Godbless~

i think "thoughts" will be a good title for that, ya think? =D idk.

surveys: getting to know you, getting to know me aka, killing time.

2009-02-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

TEN WHATS:

1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?:
-"oh wait, i still have about 2 hours to sleep before work. No text messages. Alarm checked." haha

2. What did you do last night?:
-A splendid fat burning tennis game with the Yps! (AGAIN AGAI!N!!)

3. What is the most important part of your life right now?
-everything that im associated with: fam, frens, churches, relatives and a loving boyfren.

4. What would you rather be doing right now?:
- i like wat im doing now. =P

5. What did you last cry over?:
-er.... adjusting =P

6. What always makes you feel better when you're upset?
- a good hug and talking about watever made me upset

7. What are your plans tomorrow?:
- tmrw!!! erm.. work, greet Nikki happy bday, go for Yp Bible Study =D

9. What are you worried about?:
- the exam results (i shant be feignin huh?), movin to another course, religion figitigness, workin to another store.. laaaaaa... not a biggie

10. What are you looking forward to most in this week?:
-WEEKENDS!

NINE HAVE-YOU-EVERS:

1. Have you ever liked someone with a girlfriend/boyfriend?:
-like is too subtle. hahaha... as a fren, why not? =P

2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
- definitely and glad it did. hahahaha...

3. Have you ever played on a sports team?:
- YESH!!! and I LOVE THOSE. precious memories. =D

4. Have you ever been out of the country?
- Blessed to be =D

6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?:
- Yes..., made me realise there are different hard-hearted people in this world.

7. Have you ever had the cops called on you?:
- No =)

8. Have you ever dated someone younger then you?:
- Yes.

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?:
- Tried. hahaha...

EIGHT WHOS:

1. Who was the last person you saw?:
- huh? lol... define, "where?"

2. Who was the last person you hugged?:
- hmm.............. Ronizah or Fai. haha

3. Who was the last person you called?:
- HONEY! no... this guy named Ralph. ended up being my tennis mate. haha

4. Who was the last person to call you?:
- HONEY=) yey~

5. Who was your first crush?:
- Jed

6. Who was the last person to text message you?:
- Ram

7.Who is the last person you texted?
- Honeybee

8. Who did you last yell at?:
- my sis

SEVEN WHENS:

1. When was your last shower?
- this evening

2. When did you last see your mom?
- few hours ago

3. When was your last hug?
- 12 hours ago

4. When did you last dress up?
- last... weekend

5. When was the last time you cried?
- Jan

6. When did you last go to the movie theatre?
- last week

7. When were you born?
- 150687.

SIX WHERES:

1. Where do(es) your best friend(s) live?
- phils, usa, singapore, canada

2. Where did you last go?
- Starbucks

3. Where did you last hang out?
-tennis court

4. Where do you go to school?
- sp

5. Where is your favorite place to be
- by the beach. i prefer nature. i like seein the sunset and the sky

6. Where did you sleep last night?
- at home lah

FIVE DO/DOES:

1. Do you like someone right now?
- Love.

2. Do they like you too?
- YES!!! hahahaha

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
- wish. no. =P

4. Do you know the muffin man?
- who is he???? wahahhaa... delicious aye!

5. Does the future scare you?
- it does.

FOUR WHYS:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friends?:
- there are soul mates=) hahahaha!
its because we treasure the friendship and the bondin on how it started we've gone thru and still goin through life together, supporting each other no matter wat happens and that certifies them on why they become "best" simply because they care towards you from the start of a bud to an ever bloomin friendship no matter wat happens.

2. Why did you get a Facebook?
- It's fun, different and more entertaining than Friendster.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?:
- wata question. no special reason really as long as i can be named thats unique to the world and esp to them.

4. Why are you doing this survey?:
- kill time! getting to know u and getting to noe me! haha

THREE IFS:

1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?:
- teleport. hahaha.... fly? with enuf oxygen and fats to keep me warm

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?:
- ya noe, everyone will say no bcz it changes blah blah. but theres really one thing i wanna change. secret na yon =P

3. If you were stranded on a desert island and could bring one thing what would it be?:
-a bible is all i need.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVERS:

1. Would you ever be friends with someone again, who you promised yourself you never would be because they were mean to you?
- ya noe, love ur enemies as God loves you. no ones perfect, no am I, so yes. no matter how many times they even hurt me, i'd love them all the more. its hard, but i noe they'll be thankful for dose sacrifices come a day =)

2. Would you ever shave your head to save the person you love?:
- no doubt.

YEY!TAPOS NA RIN! GOODNITE AND GODBLESS AMIGOS!

Here in my life -behind that song that touched me deeply

2009-02-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

As I listened repeatedly to this song which made me emote and tear so much upon first heard at Hope church, all I could think of are my loves ones and my journey over the in-and-out of building that relationship with Jesus.

I feel like I am a little girl once again at Baguio City... and all along, as I look back, I see myself grow and mature with time. There are set backs, successes, surprises, lows and ups... as I listened to this song.The huge thing that changed me as a person is my relationship with Him. (No, not my boyfriend. Read on. )

I miss the religion classes during elem days... I particularly love the day when my mom allowed me to go to church with Mikee, my new neighbor then. We were late... haha... her parents are the ones who run the church. Mikee sang in church with her older sister but I think I was fetched by her sister then. It was odd carrying that bible as we hurried to the "church."
Yes, noticed the quotation marks huh? That's because we didnt end up in a synagogue as what my parents always brought me to. We were at this elementary school in the village. There was this man whom they didnt call as priest but Pastor and the songs they sang spoke freely. Freely, because the words used were simple and remiscing at how it felt, I love how outwardly it was sang... as if a love song written to God for everyone to hear and be a witness.
I remember how the event was... every single thing. I think I was 7 or 8 back then and now I am turning 22.
I miss those songs and the words of a simple man who spoke enthusiastically about Jesus Christ, the only thing that I was familiar with.

I couldnt remember though if I told my mom that their church was different from ours. But I think I didnt tell her about it... hmmm...

Anyway, moving on, as I type this, I am not even confirmed in the catholic faith (One should be by the age of 16) .
My mom, particularly has been telling me to sign up for the classes. Somehow, one way or another, my schedule just can't fit to the classes available... or perhaps...

There are people whom I met even the days of my highschool years here in Singapore.
I was opened to Glad tidings church. I had this boyfriend then who brought me to their church. Again, he brought his bible whenever he picked me up on Sundays. I found the songs I fell in love with just like Mikee's. His mom gave me a gift, a bible, my first ever bible. (which i am currently using now)

I stopped going there because there were lies we told to those church people. ahahaha... and the relationship didnt last...

Perhaps Hope church has been the first christian church that opened up that relationship I have with Jesus Christ... (I was opened to more knowledge about the book that the people whom I met brought along with them)

As looked back at how it started and I can still vividly remember how it all started by this lady who invited me to go to a church at somerset when we were along orchard road. There were not many filipinos back then and I felt a sense of glee to have met another filipina. I pictured somerset and couldnt for surely recognise any church building there. I didnt go despite the exchange of phone numbers and repeated invitation given to me. Yes, she did called me up, but all I did was turned her down. I was convinced there was no synagogue at Somerset cz I checked the location.

Another incident came when a filipino school mate joined our school during secondary school days. Again, not many pinoys were here yet back then and I was so happy of knowing there's another filipino in my school other than me. I made means of knowing this guy and actually letting him join my CCA. haha.
Funny how it turned out, that he himself had asked me out to a church.... and it's the same church -Hope church. It was called "Hope of God" back then.
I was a loyalist in the youth service for 2 years.

I didnt last long there... then came another invite from a filipina...

Last 25th Jan, that's when I heard this song that touched me so much -Here in my Life by hillsong.
I remembered the day when I was lost, so torn between catholic and christian.
So tired by how I made it to the youth service every 3-5pm thenafter to the catholic church to meet my family for mass.
I cried out in that church wanting to know the truth.
I thought I was answered... but now, its already 2009, almost 4 years and somehow I am back at that same church again. Funny how it turned out that 2 years dating from the day I left that church, I found a job at Starbucks barely 400km from the church building. Odd.

Who knew, I am again attending that church, but this time around, with a more larger group of filipino service. It was half-filled back then when I met another lady who brought me to filipino service, then again, I stopped, and this year, I am back there on sundays.
Oh yes... Ive got this close friend of mine who actually serves there in the music ministry every 3pm service... And yet another dance friend attending the same service.... gosh...

What Im tryna say is this. I just have this beautiful uncunning feeling about that song.
Ever felt touched and you teared so much upon hearing a new song that just speaks volumes about ur life? Hearing every word sang touched me so easily... As if He was singing it to me... It came to me as a surprise. Like this gift of exclusive rare treasure that was given to me without even asking... maybe I have received it, but this one, caught me off guard, I just cried throughout the song... smiling, deeply moved and loved...

I asked Mike and Martin after service if they knew the title and who sang that song...but both didn't know. They were telling me of another song, "complete" but it wasnt the one that moved me...
It was only last Wednesday, when i was so ever free (perfect timing huh?) that I stumbled upon that song...
I thought it wouldn't move me like the first time... but when I sang it, lo and behold, tears of joy and love filled me once again.

I am not saying that you'd convert... I'm saying it's a different feeling to have a personal relationship with Him and let Him lead our lives and glorify his goodness and love.
It's beautiful to live a life that's not my own cares -humanly.
I have been searching the way of life really.
Got so tired how it goes cz I live by the means of the regulations of a human ruled life. But when I accepted this "relationship with Jesus Christ" and let him rule the life he gave me, I felt renewed and all the more loved... that all I have to do is to bask in this beautiful life he granted us with praise him ever so worthy Lord, be worry free and trust Him in every single thing that comes to life. It's hard... ya know, to know what to do yet putting into action is another leap of challenge... but with God, its possible. =)

This song just speaks all the times I have stumbled upon the
many people he used to lead me to Him; to draw closer to Him.
I cant very much put into words how I feel... but I am feeling good about this entry cz somehow, despite the late nite I am spending to blog this out,
I am positive that this is a calling. =) That this special feeling I have, is meant to be shared and not kept for my own. It's a gift not just for me, but for you as well.

Here's the lyrics:

Here In My Life Lyrics
Hillsongs Australia

I have never walked on water
felt the waves beneath my feet but
at Your word Lord, I'll receive Your
faith to walk on oceans deep

and I remember how You found me
in the very same place
all my failings surely would have drowned me
still You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus, You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
where would I be without You here in my life
here in my life

You have said that all the heavens
sing for joy at one who finds the
way to freedom, truth of Jesus
bought from death into His life

and I remember how You saw me
through the eyes of Your grace
and though the cost was Your beloved for me
still You made a way

God bless you.
God loves you.

Musings

2009-02-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

My holiday has begun last Tuesday.
We ended the electronics paper that day marking the end of a year comprising of 2 semesters.
Time surely does fly.
Maybe I don't deserve this long break of 7 weeks cz honestly, I have not been a 100% a good student I usually am the last semester. Nevertheless, I'm prepared for a better year ahead.

Moving on, came Wednesday and I was just at home.
The only appointment I have for that day was just Bible study in the late evening.

It feels so different to be a bummer -a Total bummer.
I am the sort of person who prefers being occupied.
I find ways and means to move and just do something.
So... I cleaned the whole house.
Yes... even managed to make a simple Happy Graduating Banner for the Brinosa siblings =)

Came Thursday and I woke the usual 7am my body had gone accustomed to.
(Thank God... cz Ive been waking up way later than that. Great to know my body has somehow came to norms.)
During school days, I swore when vacation comes, I'd sleep as much as I can. Recuperate the nights when I stayed up late. And well, its not really working cz my body got used to my early rest days during the muggin period of mine and waking up at 5am to study.

I cleaned our home again. Somehow I cant do that without music. I had to turn on to my favorite local radio station, power 98. I like Harry's voice. =D

I feel alone whenever I hear every single person in my family leave and exchange their goodbyes in the morning. Getting up from bed, I'd be greeted with their early morning rush. I'll end up tidying their breakfast on the table, dishes not washed...
I dont like being lonely as Ive come to realise... and for the first time I felt that loneliness.

Our home was unusually quiet. Everyone's at school or work and Karen's just at home. sheeze. My lil sisters have grown up.
I still treat them as if theyre little and never grown taller than me. I still think each of us never grown older, my brother still the lanky dude... but now after his National Service, he became a muscular man to a chubbier one now.
My parents have more white hairs and wrinkles on their faces.
I hate seeing that honestly... because it gives me that pressure that everyone will have to grow separate ways whereby they cant forever support us. (Hush, that responsibility and independence yet again has runged me up)
I have been insisting that dad and I go for a hairdye. ehehehe... He said that even his moustache has to be dyed nonetheless and still prefers his natural hair color ever since.

However, seeing their eyes full of life makes me smile inside. Dad actually has a lighter shade or brownish eyes compared to mama and I. He also has this light blue rim around his hazel eyes -beautiful.

Today's the 21st of February 2009 already...
After all these years in Singapore (turning 11 this April 13), I want to go back to Phillippines.
I want a getaway... and the only place I really wanna go to is Baguio.
I am missing my grandparents and loyalist auntie Elma who has been taking care of them since her teenage or early twenties.
It feels odd to want to go back there because the last time I was there, I found Baguio a tedium place already because it has lost its natural beauty to the new buildings.
Hello realisation, what really matters are your love ones... and I miss their company I feel like catching up with them over the years we have been apart.
sana now na. i have this yearning... but I cant. Maybe my parents will finally let me fly alone once I saved enough cash to keep me alive back there. heeheh.

I'll end it here. Hava blessed weekend.

Take care and Godbless.
Love,
Karen

I was tagged at Facebook -again. ^_^

2009-02-19T05:34:00.000+08:00

Im ever so free today but there are things I wanna do =)
so since im free, im replying the tags at Facebook.
Here's the recent one and its easier for this one to be answered so lets begin with this:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No.. but mom said they saw my name in a calendar whom a sister at church recommended to name me after.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
haha! January

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
favorite? Im not picky, as long as I can have my meal. I usually go for the chicken or beef.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Nah

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Why not? =D

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
sometimes, but i tell them im joking cz I dont wanna hurt their feelings. =)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yes?? haha

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
LETS GOOOO!!!!

10. NAKED?
ah... can I have a lean body first?? hahahaha

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
hmm... banana nut crunch, blueberry morning and cranberry vanilla by post

12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
i usually do when i tie them in a bow

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
mango from magnolia.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
face, get ups, smile. haha..

15. RED OR PINK...
Red =P

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
procrastinate = tardiness

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
my relatives overseas. i guess that doesnt answer the qn cz it's "who" ? haha. one person? ok lah, Mike, Cherrymae, Sheena =P i miss many love ones.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
whenever they can. this aint important =D

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
neither wearing any of those mentioned right now. i prefer jeans, and shoes, yes.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Came to my rescue -planetshakers

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
YELLOW!

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Starbucks coffee,
this medium white flower infront of our balcony... until now i dont know the name of it but ive fallen in love with the smell since I was little i... huhu. ano kaya yong name non...
Mama's cooking and her perfume
Pasta.
Mike's perfume=D
Pine trees.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
I usually miss the calls. hahahaha... checking it, mama.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
why not?

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Basketball, Tennis and F1 =D

27. HAIR COLOR?
mainly black but ive hues of tinge brown. I love its naturalness of it. hahaha

28. EYE COLOR?
brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I do now

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
anything with cheese, I'll like. thats why i like Pastas, i can add cheese to any recipe. haha.
I like the french foods...hmm... again, im not picky =)
But i do have a thing for meduim-sweet desserts.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
HAPPY ENDINGS

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Benjamin Button

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
black. haha

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
I wanna experience winter

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
whoever's free. idk.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Idk.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Paulo Quelho -The alchemist, The Bible, 17 magazine.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
i dont use a mouse.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
i dont watch tv nimore

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)
acoustic. pop. rock. praise and worship melodies. rnb=)

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
mmm.. beattles or both. hahaha

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
singapore.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
i write poems/songs wen my spontaniety kicks in, i love sports, i can draw and color it to full given ample time. i can master a song with the guitar =D just teach me. hahaha.

special? i guess that wud be majoring in my least fav subject and teaching people math. yes. eeesh.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Baguio City

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Whoever gets to reads this and have time to kill.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Through a dance mate. they waited for me after my partime work. haha... after a charity day 3 years ago

not so subtle Feelings...

2009-02-09T18:49:00.000+08:00

Mite not be appropriate time to even blurt this out..
Im the sort who just have to let go, rather than to keep the feelings hidden.
There are feelings I keep, be sane for some time or share and tell for those blows I can't take, Ive to pen them down, or here, just share with y'all, the selected ones, cz perhaps i just need some medicine for the pain.

I'll have to be as little as subtle as this can get. It's a blog anws... and if the interest jabs you on, I could use a helping ear.

If there's something that could change what ought to be changed, a treasure I have accepted to be a blessing, then let it be done.

It kills me slowly as I take these sudden emotions slowly and surely. It couldn't've happened on the right timing, but it found its way in the wrong direction to be entertained, to be tackled, to be understandingly fruitless.

It's so hard to just be with you for mere hours and sudden realization would knock me out telling me that I am not dreaming. I might have foreseen this as a time that is easy to adjust and carry on but I am fighting so hard to phantom the "why"s behind that feeling of maybe, longings or missing yous,each time we struggle to meet or arrange the little time we have. Time and time again, i find myself struggling. I have always succeeded in making myself strong, but over the time, against the privilege of meeting you once again, all those hard work of mine easily crumbles down.... and that cycle goes on again.... its so hard to start over and over again... but its a blessing to have to feel that pain for it never fails to make me stronger.

Clinging on to every hope it eventually got worst and who knows, this treasure that I have come to love so dearly would eventually find its wits-end like all stories or rather, happy endings go.

I fear to be like the story of Nicholas Sparks for their story is seemingly close to what is currently going on. It's painful to think that the 2 souls who were meant to be eventually just changes the destiny that fate had planned..... or maybe not.

maganda na sana itong relationshp, alam mo yon, pero ngayon ko lang na realise na may chance parin palang mawala, kasi di ko naman iniisip yon... na realise ko lang bigla and im sadden about it.

2344.le9fevrier09

So this is missing ur special someone...

2009-01-11T16:56:00.000+08:00

It's crazy how his enlistment started. If the earthquake surprises us, that's how the news got into all of us... but i guess it's okay to say that at least I was with him when he knew it. What's troublesome and odd are the times when it happened.

We just alighted infront of the school, ready to enter the gate for enrolment when Honey just got off the phone and told me the news he knew: "report for NS at 8am the next day."

I've been saying this to many people cz they knew about it and wondered why it's super all of a sudden. I cant help but wonder too... it's because of the change of address. It's cruel to think that he wasn't even given a day of notice. So now, he has to leave everybody just like that and go for his service.

It has only been 3 days and they feel so long already. Imagine the last day I had with him after knowing about the news, we thought it's gonna be JuSt for 3 months but thank God, it's just 2 weeks and thenafter, he could leave the camp every weekends. TGIW! (thank God it's Weekends!)

Many have been giving me their support... at store, Bkk, frens. It gets so hard really. You know, to put up that tough-front attitude infront of them but always at the end of the day, I do find tears trickling down my cheeks. What about him, who's so far away at the alien land?
I find it hard to keep my feelings intack too when they ask,
"Ok ka lang?",
"How are you feeling?",
"NS is the worst thing a girlfriend can put up with...",
"Oh, wala na pala ano mo, nasa army na pala..." .....

Nevertheless, thank you for the call and msges he gave that evening of thursday. I was down with slight fever too cz of the cold at Changi beach for, who would have known, his last Bible study with the YP. (young/youth professionals) I missed his first call and thank God I was able to picked up the next call and thank God he was able to call again.

So from then onwards up to the moment I'm bloggin, I have not heard from him.
His handphone must have gone batteryflat...
We turn 9th of a loving sweet miracle of a monthsary today. haha.

Hmm... and the pictures above are the ones he gave me before he left. We were getting his necessities that late afternoon and decided to part ways cz we wanted to get something for each other. He got me those... =) It was only yesterday I took them off from the package....

It feels so different to be used to the places, the communication, the bonding, the kulitans, the trips and everything we've been doing together and then all of a sudden, you're love one, and also my bestfriend, just leaves you behind. It's hard... but you know, I'll end with this saying:

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

~*The Simplicity Of My History II *~

1st interior design book for myself:)

Ive met all my modules

I got in! :D

Faith, Hope and Trust

7th Sept 10 and I am lonely

New beginnings of a great journey

Festival Of Praise 2010

Revival

All that I want

Time to let go and await for change

Reality Bites

tuesday, 9th Feb '10

8th Feb 2010

Broken

You left your fingerprint here in my heart with its crazy emotions I can't seem to redefine.

Inside her thoughts, she speaks

Psalm 118:5-6 (NIV)

Merry Christmas!

Stepping Stones

Hello=)

Fragile

life

Accomplished!! ^_^

pagod na ako

A lil time, alil info about urs truly, Karen=)

Love ones

nth

today's just one of those days....

Blessed, Passionate and Caring Teachers

Touching life story.....

I miss...

spontaneous DIY hair cut, google search

bible verses =)

Matthew 6:25

my life update

Momentous.

Indescribable Feeling

Special People

SuperPoke! @ myFacebook

Mom's the greatest

A story: Sweet moves you make 2

Just today

A story: Sweet moves you make:

There is something in the way...

Love Calculator

Late nights and How I am doing. =)

untitled composition

surveys: getting to know you, getting to know me aka, killing time.

Here in my life -behind that song that touched me deeply

Musings

I was tagged at Facebook -again. ^_^

not so subtle Feelings...

So this is missing ur special someone...

~The Simplicity Of My History II ~