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mardi, juin 24, 2008
sch: looking back, now and to change for the better.
4:40 PM
When we first met up during the hols get a kick start of our debate-kinda project. that was taken today. after school hours. went to the library and studied. those guys are just so noisy. so embarrassing being with them cz they dont seem to understand the word "SILENCE." (the books behind are all engineering ones. the only thing that attracted me are the ones with the "design" word in them like, "architectural design". flipped the book and theyre all formulas. kicksomeass.)
It's the start of Term 2 na. Here's the general sched:
Damn. There's the exam na. I'm gonna be honest. I screwed up my Term 1. Prioritised other things rather than school cz I thought I'd be able to catch up during the 3 weeks break. But again, nothing fruitful happened those weeks when it comes to school. (other than the fact that I am all the more enjoying working at starbucks. I feel that it's a place to really distress other than the slam=long line, during peak hours and ensuring the frap mix and the ingredients for a drink are all topped up.) I told myself not to be late when I get back to school. So far, still the same and this is the 2nd day. I shouldnt be so hard on myself yea? There's the great temptation of resigning starbucks too cz I am now the senior there of all the part timers. Im kinda feeling the pressure of "setting a good example" thingie. And today... I slept for 3 hours after leaving school at 3pm. I stayed in school with my mates to complete the project. I felt like a culprit in there. There were moments when I catch myself to have to stop chatting and get back to doing my work when a group mate isn't beside me. ahaha. shet talaga. But hey, I've completed editing their freaking english type out of each person with 2 pages long. My trip on my way home in the bus left me so exhausted I found myself waking up when each time i banged my head on the window. gooosh. The other bad side I noticed about me when it comes to school is... I noticed I prefer working under pressure. That's when I absorb all the things I needed to absorb the last minute but won't really give me much confidence in the end cz during the process itself, my heart thumps faster than normal. Gosh. Comes the other hand, where I stop 1/4 through my work when it can be completed. SHET!!!!!!!!!! bakit ba ganon?!?! =( We did tutorials for Eletrical Engineering. We did that last example Test for next week thats when we will be tested... my teacher told me ive been absent quite a number of times and asked if I can do them. (hay.ewan.I hate myself wen i flip thru my blo0dy textbook not smiling cz I've not gone through them myself.) And came the 2nd part of tutorial with this laziest teacher on earth. He doesnt teach at all. he tells us to do tutorial, say 5, complete it then we can go. And it has been happening since the day we met him. Crazy man. Yes, he said that even the first time we met him. To even think, we dont have textbooks then! GOSH. See how bad it is? And I dont seem to be self-driven cz I hate my course. I really thought I can get away with this after graduating from Mechanical Engineering with the span of 2 years. I strived so hard to get myself where I am now... but this is the turn out so far. and its bad. i know. =(. If you think about what i really wanna do, Designs, Ive to do my sketches all over again cz my Art folio in secondary school is empty, other than the sketches I did as drafts. They all have been collected by my art teacher. =( Checked back at the secondary school site and she's not teaching there anymore. Like most of the teachers I had then, I chanced upon them in store... so I get updated. =( Most of our teachers left the school when my batch graduated. This is the worst test of all in my whole entire schooling life. Lord..... you're my only refuge. Ive to push myself to really study... cz when I left minutes before dad did this morning, I really wanna make him proud. Now that I got myself into a better school, a better life ahead if I complete this road, Im sure theyre gonna be proud... (Still, dad wants me to get a degree. and of course, who wouldnt want that? it seems hard to get in though... but it wont hurt if I give my best and let God do the rest, right? =) ) I just wanna blurt this out. Doing the tutorials a while ago and knowing I skipped them, somehow i did survived cz I knew the drift of it. get the freaking formula, see if the example is the same as the qn den apply. hay... still, I shouldnt be so complacent. BACKUPBACKUP! Looking back... Ive turned the tables around. Im always competitive then. Always wanting to have all the sources in my head in advance before the teachers teaches us... now that the same opportunity is granted, just that it is more defined than before, (where I study on my own assumming the teacher will teach this chapter next week, that sort of thing) I am letting it slip away. =( I dont seem to want to take up leadership roles anymore. Unlike before... I always aim to be the top... my classmates asks me about my cca and how i was back then... I found myself underestimating the moments when I was on top. Like being the secretary of my cca in a mere sec 2 when official positions are only given to higher secondary... (3&4) then graduated being the President... was in leadership arenas all the time... and now, its really sad I am shunning them away in my college life. =( SHET. whatever happened =( |
wilkommen
The name's Karen. Currently residing in Singapore But her heart belongs in Baguio City She yearns to go to America where her relatives and frens live. Born on the 15th June She's a yellow fanatic. A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p Do tag my board yea? EVERYONE'S WELCOME!! ^_^
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