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mercredi, septembre 08, 2010
Faith, Hope and Trust
11:41 PM
Hebrews 11:1 whata good good message. ito nanaman, sumakto don sa tinuro sakin ni Anchor over the phone during the days when i lost my phone. And after that sharing, nainlove ako sa kanya ng lalo. It's really a wonderful feeling whenever you talk about God and his wonders and love towards us. What's really more captivating is the wonder on how one person has a mentor in feeding her with his spiritual word of blessings. Maganda ang feeling... sobra. So today, was another day... Was emotic the day before. haha! gosh. cant wait for weds onwards na cz its spiritual feeding day. today, we collected our history projs back. The rain poured so heavy at 1045am, i was caught in the rain and thank God i wasnt wet. :) My mates and I went around the city and took silly kiddie pics. It took my mind of things. I ate ice cream again. 3 days consecutively na yan. omg. Went over at Esplanade Library for God knows why. Ended up borrowin scores, dance dvds and a piano tutorial :) i didnt know my friend, whom im not really that close with, is another freakin musician. I find myself close and alone with musicians, it hurts to even think about you. lol... but the honest truth is, theyve been great friends, i know why God let me meet them, cz instead of hurting, I became strong... they inspired me and it only gotten me more excited to share them to my Anchor. Haha. funny how God plans it. Idk... but im happy. Music is still that solace for me. The Bible study was the last appointment of the day. Almost hit laziness when I got home. Even more scared to the point Ive already lost my ezlink yet im gonna go all the way to pasir ris just to have bible study in usage of my mom's card. gee. so, i did told her im goin for BS and she permitted. Like, wala syang sinabi. Agree lang. Phew~~ I learnt about Faith, Hope and Trust today. Trust wasnt included in the title of Hebrews11:1 but anws, it was brought together. I need to not only increase my faith but also to hope, claim it and trust the Lord. I need to ask for wisdom, guidance of the holy spirit and readiness of the heart when reading the bible. For if we do, we see God's will, his plans and conversation to us, conviction and he fills us with happiness we end up sharing the good news. I wanna experience this :) Just weird na of all lessons, ito pa ang pinaturo. sakto pa na si Anchor ang nagsabi non sakin, at sakto na si Ate Grace ang teacher ko. What's nice is that we met 3 new people today :D the lady turned out to be an ID!!! INTERIOR DESIGN!!!! hahahah naexcite din sya nong nalaman nya na ID ang kinukuha ko :) weeeeeee~~~ LORD! THIS IS IT!!! the breakthru!! thanks for the help uve been sending meh way! hehehe :D awwww so ayon, we exchanged numbers. one more note, bro, i pray, will attend with us next thurs! ohoh!! surprise! surprise! :D Sabi daw, may purpose kung bakit kami nadala don... hmm... :) mardi, septembre 07, 2010
7th Sept 10 and I am lonely
1:13 AM
Its been sometime since I felt this lonesomeness that I was just taught not to entertain it in my heart. Who could be blamed when circumstances are a reality. I am to blame no one. My bestfriend cousin just left phils for good. the most romantic exboyfriend just lost his dad due to heart attack -no vices. And I am not in the best position of a relationship, if there is to even count for. Worst is that its my school break for 2 weeks and I am panned by reality. I am too free and I let my mind run away... Every night I cling on to your word oh God... You have heard my cries, my pains, my negativity, my impulsiveness, my proud ego, i hate at times. I lost my ezlink card again today. about 40bucks in there when I was gonna make my visit to a love one. I only realized it after lunch, alone. mygawd. so there, he doesnt know i went there almost penniless... he doesnt know i still went to see him cz i wanna be there and care for him. he doesnt know i have been waiting and it hurts to wait sometimes i just wanna let go, leave everything... when i was there, i had to stop myself from hugging him, from wanting him close, from wantin to kiss him instead of his niece... I had to tolerate.. i had to cooperate.. I had to play like an actress... i had no choice but to wait and hope and keep that faith... There have been amountin memories and events ive been pillin up wantin to share it to him, but somehow, i cant make myself to cz i dont seem welcome in the look in his eyes... i went home, alone. cold. i dont know whom to turn to... nobody seem to last as my real bestfriend. all love ones are leavin the phils.. all are busy with their own lives.. and i am just a soul out there.. souless? heh.. i dont wanna be negative... but i am just feeling this.. i watched the new bachellorette, Ally, with my siblings. I just can't help but miss the connection, the sweetness... the ways a man goes all out for the one he loves. and all i can do now, is just keep that faith... and cry to him, my solace, my solitude... the barenaked ladies band was part of the show, and i cant help but to put this on a replay: "you run away." i wanna get lost in the sound of music once more... and never letting it stop, cz it soothes me. the visit ti campus 3 was such an eyeopener it made me feel happy. sana isang campus nlg at 3 schools para balance ang energy sa lahat ng departments. i think our campus 2 is the stressed out building. we need energy from the other campuses! mercredi, septembre 01, 2010
New beginnings of a great journey
12:51 AM
heck with the title. i cant figure one rite now. so i started with that, not sure whether wat i'll say will fall in that category. haha. today was a breather. 2 days. so we confessed. we talked. and there it went, out in the open. we felt good. i think. i felt good. somehow i knew i trusted his words. so today... i just realised that what happened was to set us free from bondage of sin. and that was the exact sermon at New creation church. "Dead in Sin, Alive in Christ." Pastor Prince has his way of preaching, very humorous and entertaining the youth esp:) I cant believe that Hillsong was there too. Darlene Zschech... what was an awe, was the solo performance of the guitar rifts... just the guitar and no vocals... in tune to God is Awesome, i think. haha. and then in the midst of the song, came another guitarist. At once, he came to mind. He wasnt there. I cant believe he missed 3 great worship leaders this year: Planet Shakers (oh, i remembered, after their concert here, i said yes.), Don Moen and now Darlene. grabeh, nasan ka sa mga araw na ito at puro pagod nalang mga excuse mo? ive alot to say... there was the note i wrote for Aly at facebook. too many coincidence. so i decided to write it there to keep for history. I wanna start a fresh. Last saturday was different a praise and worship ritual for me... I cried. yes i did. grabeh... no, he wasnt there. i wasnt suppose to go cz sunday was another service to attend with mates. hmwrk piles up... but somehow, i pulled myself there. Jesus got me there... I just sang.. no new songs... but i confessed to him and i felt him... i teared... and smhow i knew i was forgiven. Sunday came, and the remainin thoughts in my head the day before was answered there and then. Weird to say that there was even a surprise guitar lead... and the sermon did spoke about us. Romans 6. I hoped he was there... but no. Ang bilis sumagot ni Lord... the next day na kaagad... So up to now, Im clinging to that. We are all righteousness in the site of God... We shant condemn ourselves when we sin for he sees what Jesus did -died on the cross. but we shud also confess our sins, make sure it doesnt happen so that he will flow to us, and he'll use us, and we will feel him moving and changin in our lives. He'll do things we cant fathom we cud have done. I like the examples Pastor Prince said about a man who was bound to have sinned, devored the sin and the opposite... he was drivin past orchard road and saw a lingerie woman display... he was fastin all day and wen he saw the pic, he entertained the thoughts in his head, puttin his efforts and God aside. He condemned himself when he did his business. then another, same case scenario, just that this man, talked to God, brought himself to prayer and told himself not to look more than once or make it imaginable... and it worked. :) Wat i really wanna say is, he knows wat im talkin about. I miss the sweetness between us. But now i understand why there's always something drawin me far from him whenever we meet... Why im hostile with him.. why i seek more of his time rather than lettin him rest just because i miss him and we dont have time much. why i dont feel his presence. My cries werent as audible before... It's really different when you abide the bible, love it, read it, put into practice and sharing it. there's just this feeling of greatness overflowin that u want it shared cz its too excited to keep. hehe. and then blessings flow. after we confessed, i just realised i did a great job doin my sketch hmwrk... i was smsing with him while sketching, ended rite wen we ended our conversation too and it look fabulous. :D He is working now, i can tell. ive been reading the bible too. i wanna go pract not because of him, but because i really wanna worship and bring him praise :D oh, and another. my mom knew about us already. she told me to leave the church. but i told her ive commitments pa.. so she said, rite after im done with it, then i'll leave. ano ba yan. i am not ready to say na i love worshippin there. That i learn and grow wen im there... i see my talents used in many ways: cooking for people, worship n praise, fellowshp with pinoys, familyness, dance and friendship... :) ang dami... im just the mere one on the other side... i guess its true na pipintas tau ng kalaban... pero its great to see na as wat pastor Jay said, to seek wisdom and knowledge with fellow believers. iba kasi ang advice nila.. there's always the hidden positivity and support. i cant believe a couple is knowing my problem and theyre in lead of music... ive been wantin to be in music too :) and here it is. ang galing on how it works. hehehe. how he is working. ok, gotta end here. dami pa e. but i need qt and sleep na. ive been deadwalking cz of schwrk and emotions. baka mahimatay nako. OUT!!! |
wilkommen
The name's Karen. Currently residing in Singapore But her heart belongs in Baguio City She yearns to go to America where her relatives and frens live. Born on the 15th June She's a yellow fanatic. A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p Do tag my board yea? EVERYONE'S WELCOME!! ^_^
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