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lundi, janvier 11, 2010
Inside her thoughts, she speaks
11:59 PM
Inside her thoughts, an excerpt: Family Bond is so important... inside her family, she sees that one precious element is missing. Everyone's busy with their own lives -A family seeming to be of tenants living under one roof, bearing the same surname.... She's sad to have read her lil sister's journal. The journal requirement for school, which teacher's read. She told her there are things that her lil sister shouldn't be telling a stranger. Yet the lil sister said that it's her assignment, it's her teacher. Clear to see that She knew her lil sister doesn't find her teacher as a stranger, Twas hard to explain to her that, some things are meant to be kept private. She told their mother about it and well, she let it be liberated. (I saw sadness, exhaustion in my mom's face everyday, I get so sick, so helpless in seeing that... I wish I could just take it and throw it away.) Mom just said, "Let it be, she already wrote what she needed to." There were pangs in my heart. I interrogated my sister about the things she wrote. Most are negative. It was hard to digest the reality that broke my heart. I simply asked her and tried to reasoned my ways to her such as the necessity to do housework cz she doesnt like doing those and well, she very well remembered that we quarreled over that. I had to explain to her that there are quarrels that are good and bad. And came the "bond" thingie. She qualms, "But there's no bond." Its like I have to be a parent to my 'LiL', now teenage sisters. Parents are not going along well too. I dont know why. Said I gotta talk to them... Dang its hard when you gotta do it -the right thing. So I succumbed to turning the lights off cz I dont want to see my tears falling down the mirror. Im squinting in the light of the laptop in reliance for typing correctly... My dear boyfriend calls. I know he's worried. But there's just that feeling of wanting alone.. and i dont think im ready to talk 'shit' stuffs like that with him... I dont know, it seems surreal... we've not reached that kinda openness... i think. (fam? nah-ah...) I always read "verse of the day" and today was this:  the earlier blog is what's written. Parang ano yan eh, "Daily Horoscope." I've learnt, through a man of God, na Daily Horos have this "evil" thing connected to them. So better not rely on them cz its the works of the evil one... So I choose daily verse of the day to perk me up and get through life. Voila, it is! I feel na with these probs, I know Im gonna be a better person... what He wants to mold me into... I just gotta do what's right.... and that righteousness is so hard to do it gets me teary-eyed. So behold, its true... He saves those people close to you -first. Lord.... ang hirap... pls be with me, I can feel you, make me at ease, lets do this slowly and surely. I need your assurance, grace, love, patience... Note: Bring LilNicola out on her bday. Make her feel like a princess. Give her what she wants, get her a bday cake, watch movies, skate, cycle till the day ends. |
wilkommen
The name's Karen. Currently residing in Singapore But her heart belongs in Baguio City She yearns to go to America where her relatives and frens live. Born on the 15th June She's a yellow fanatic. A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p Do tag my board yea? EVERYONE'S WELCOME!! ^_^
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