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lundi, octobre 01, 2007
29sep07 jr's bday.
1:30 AM
Realisations. when under the influence of alcohol. For the freakin first time. (spore) I was merely enjoying the delicious mini chicken.    and just started socialising...    i was really deciding for a pass already. thanks to the chicken n braso de mercedes. umm.. sarap twas heavenly delicious but the truth is, i couldn't even taste the sweetness. hah! but twas really soft n the creamy is just right. hehehe...    o and then in the midst, we took pictures! hehe.... and i swear, ive not drunk from bottles like that  and eventually, the day has to end. So on the way home, I realised I was intoxicated.   I was really freaking worried about myself. Esp that I dont even have at least 10 cents with me. I didnt even know that in the first place, there was gonna be alcohol. I just wanted to be driven home, I wanted to take a cab then. I couldnt cz my parents are so gonna kill me. =p well, they knew where I was. Those thoughts started gettin in to me when we were all makin our way home and along the way, lookin for a coffee shop. I prefered starbucks despite the situation. But no, I didnt have money. Thank God my friends are so dear. They took care of us and even became aware of the possibilities of the police being around. I wished someone would send me home. Right to my doorstep. He said he would. But i cared for my other friend more. Then, she missed her last bus so had to go another route. So ive to go home by myself. I was told not to sleep during the ride. And I kept that a mental note... Along the way, I thought of God.. prayed n reached out to him. I was still wondering why I kept crying.. its as if I just broken up seconds ago.. I was sobing real bad... I was laughing, I kept walking about and my friends would reach for me, tell me to sit, to not make so much noise.. and then i'd behave, i'd close my mouth but for a few minutes then the same old routine goes on again. I rose up, laughed, cried, worried... took a sip or 2 of the hot coffee and became mellowed... In the bus.. I didnt give a damn if the other passengers were wondering why Ive been crying. Esp at that time of the nite... I took my sit... smsed people who Ive known of drinkin experiences... no replies. I listened to the songs in my mp3, even if i did, the tears kept on falling... why oh why... then the songs came to my hearing.. it made it worst, cz i sobbed again.. my tears became rivers down my cheeks. I tried to hide my face.. then came messages.. then came a call... I tried to sound normal.. but the person said I don't sound okay. He offered to meet me at the bus stop and he was there not long enough with his bike when I alighted. We went to another block and just passed the time there. I was walking straight already. The tears has stopped but my eyes were surely not. Came the replies and he wouldnt let me reply them. He wants all the attention to him. To an extent that he even grabbed my cellphone. Thank God my hands were sweaty. He asked and wondered why they were... and i just said, must have been the alcohol, jokingly. I said I was feeling warm.. He took my left hand and wiped away some of the perspiration. Ive snatched my phone back and eventually, Got pissed with him and I said I've gotta go home. He shared his problems too. I became an adviser for a moment. ugh... and whenever I sms for a reply, he gets agitated. grr.. So I stood up.. I didnt want him to send me home. But he offered anyway and we talked along the way. still, he insists on when im free. even accused me of saying i shouldve been wrking that day. grrr... I guess that made me more awake. sarap sapakin! There was a flat lane few meters away from home and i told him he can go. stubborn, he walked me till the elevator. I said bye and thanks. The doors closed and I pressed a different floor. Then pressed the right floor minutes later. I forgot to remove my contacts so I slept with them.. I was awake every 4hours. I slept better with music in my ears.. Awake at 7am, I wanted to jog but I was tired.. I lacked sleep. Decided to listen to music. Got a message, replied and went back to sleep. another message received at 10am but I woke up 45min later.. removed my contacts and i was home alone. came online, took lyrics of your guardian angel with chords. went back to sleep and at 3pm, I decided to get out of bed. Took the guitar and strummed till 530pm. Got ready and went to church alone. I was looking for clues in the homily for messages that i could relate to but nothing really. Thank God I didnt reach the "alcohol poisoning" stage where vomiting occurred. Damn... I was even tempted on trying to smoke time and time again.. Thank God ive braces on and that gave me the extra will of sayin no and giving excuses. It wouldnt stopped, but thank God I was strong enough. So there... Twas fun anw... But i'll be more careful next time. |
wilkommen
The name's Karen. Currently residing in Singapore But her heart belongs in Baguio City She yearns to go to America where her relatives and frens live. Born on the 15th June She's a yellow fanatic. A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p Do tag my board yea? EVERYONE'S WELCOME!! ^_^
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