Beautiful Soul

"We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love."

something from our CD (Character Development) class:

and Karen decides to sleep early tonight.

adious amigos~

lundi, juillet 28, 2008

Social Network Websites AKA: Friendster, Facebook, Myspace, Tagged... 3:30 PM

Ang gusto ko lang naman sabihin..

hahaha.

well, in the end, the first and last is tagumpay. I meant, Friendster is the first social network I joined thanks to Rye. Came myspace and then Facebook. Facebook is just well, fun at first but it gets really complicated with the many "applications." I'll have it active once Im done with exams. My teachers in highschool who dropped by our store last weekend mentioned they'll look for me there. ahahaha. =D (and once again, they are shock to know my course. OLORD!)

Friendster a day, keeps Karen at bay with her loved ones. =)

at di naman ako makatanggi kasi miss na miss ko ang aking mga loved ones. Somehow, even though you are overseas, people think they're having the time of your life, but let me open the windows to your soul amigos, that thought, is DOWN RIGHT FALSE.

at kung gugustohin ko man na sa pinas, well, why not? nothing beats Ohana. And I meant not just your family but ur relatives too. (masmaganda sana kung dito nalang kayong lahat. or tayo sa USA! hahaha)

What keeps me goin is seeing the less priviledge ones like my classmate, Soe. His dad is in malaysia, his mom is somewhere in the middle east, he stays in Singapore with his uncle... he has no siblings.. Thats tough isnt it? He has to work and all.... One day, upon doing our project, he broke down and cried telling me how much he misses his family. He miss them so much, he can't study. (watthefark.his tests marks are all As i swear.) Yet he scores so well and he lifts me up and tells me to change for the better. haha. Thanks dude. =)

And then... my classmates in elementary are now successful RNs. Registed Nurse. GRABEH. Graduate po sila ng SLU. hay... i happened to see their shoutout. Time flies... parang kailan lang 10 years old kami na magcclase... ngayon... Seeing them now graduated with flying colors urges me to do the same.

hello, exams are 3 weeks away.

Goodluck to all sitting for their exams! Don't forget to pray! ^_^

To pass is not enough, you have to Excel. Aim for the grades you want. Work hard for it, never give up, don't forget the power of prayer and you'll see your seeds grow fruitfully. =) -Karen Gutlay. (selfmotivation!!! tapos, it helps to be close to your teachers. wahahaha... and smart classmates. =) )

keep safe loved ones~ 1923. le 28juillet 08.

KRIZIA! WE'LL DEFINITELY MEET AFTER MAH EXAMS! =D CAnt wait! hehe. IMISSYALOTSA!

vendredi, juillet 25, 2008

self evaluation towards the 4 letter word. (love lah.) 11:42 PM

Am not the sort who shows what my heart really wants to say.
I break the ice when the thought comes,
when opportunity hails it to me,
I summon my courage but
they turn in vain. usually.

Somehow, I still have the shadows of yesterday.
Shadows that I think are still with me day and night.
They only go away when a moment lightens them up
and they fade with a mark that's clear to me their purpose of company.

Many have gone like my parents being more mature on my relationhips.
Sometimes they appalled me at how open they are now than before.
But then again, these permissions shouldn't be taken advantaged by.

I hope there comes a day where...
I can just express my feelings freely to the one
I really love.
Nakakainis if I can't say it cz it might be too mushy...
Nakakainis If I can't do it cz I want the person to feel loved.
Nakakainis kasi conscious akong tao kaya...
it needs time to be on familliar grounds.
So much for these, I know there are perfect times for unforgettable moments.
=)
I am not rushing to whatever.
I am just evaluating a part of me.

le26juillet.0335
(inspirations: 'salamat' -yeng constantino, today and him. i wanted a song or poem but i ended with that.)

My thoughts for today: le25juillet2008. 10:51 PM

wooo. another week has gone.

random write out again.

It's been raining all week. I just ate ice cream at 1am today (ahahaha) despite of the cold. Already, I'm wearing longsleeve top. I felt a hunger pang and couldn't get to sleep yet so I had cranberry and almond cereal with milk and I usually prefer indulging ice cream with nutty and crunchy cereals. =D
I missed working at Starbucks. When I headed there for work, I couldnt careless if Im eating alone in a rainy, outdoor foodcourt near the store. haha. I love the idea I've something on after I ate. Sb relieves my stress at school and norm days at home.
I started work earlier than usual cz a partner was late. I took the initiative to help instead of studying for an hour. =) yey. =)
I was hyper again at work. And then after my shift I'd be thinking, "I'm so hypher. I'm so happy working sometimes I do weird stuffs." haha. E.g: Talking to myself while glammering the pastry case up. When a song gets stuck in my head, I'd be singing, talking, humming and teasing that to my partners. heeeeh.
I spilled a 3/4 full of Whip Cream on the floor while the customers were flowing in consistently. Best of all, our Store Manager saw that happened right on the moment I spilled the whipping cream upon taking the tray for the customer. -_-"
I have been/started commenting my partners, or rather (sings) "I got a feedback, feedback...hoo-wooh~"
Well, I was walking up the stairs for "buzzing" (clearing of tables n chairs) when a group of guys walked past infront of me. haha. A guy caught my glance. I dont know why I smiled. lol. And then another guy looked at me giving me that hint to another guy and by that time, we were splitting up cz I'm turning right and they're going left. Finally, the "leader" guy asked, "hey, what's your name?" (ahaha.) (and again), I don't know why I said, "Karen!" (yea... alil louder than my normal voice. geee!) Imagine boyfriend seeing that. (lagot? o_0?)
I saw a HUGO perfume for men left in one of the sits. I ran after the small group and voila... twas the hot guy's. Erm... I shouldnt have ran after them huh? I shouldve kept it and let them return. =P (ahahaha. badbad?bad.)
We did coffee tasting with Sam. but uh... we used the coffee bean, Kenya from Coffee Bean. We compared our product to theirs.. and talked about the simillarities and differences. HAHA! Obviously, it turns out that Starbucks has more quality, taste, care, money-worth it, well planned, best roasted whole beans rather than at Coffee Bean's. Nevermind their array of food cz coffee is the hightlight here babeh!
It's my first time encountering a couple who is in Singapore for their "honeymoon." He said, after, they'll head to Bali. Awwweee... farking sweet! It really made me melt. haha. And I'm sure the norwegian guy saw my lovey-dovey face spread all over mah face. aheeeee... =,> (gusto ko rin! di na kailangan na honeymoon pa! ahaha.)
School: I've loads to get confident with and practice practice, memorize, memorize, ask. ask for 3 weeks. (SHET)
Lastly... I kinda realised that my former boyfriend still has the ingredient of filling my emotional needs (shet) even though he's 1/2 of the world away. So far, I've succeeded in being a respectful and faithful girlfriend cz one stubborn stain finally gave in. This one is something I need to do cz he's in the same land. And then I wonder... There's no harm in being friends with your former and still being close somehow... yes?
Plus one: at times, when no words are spoken between us, I'll look at him and wonder how we got together. The feelings, thoughts and first conversations we've had had when we first met flashes back in my mind as I looked at him... makes me smile. Makes me appreciate and somehow surprised at where we are now. Yes, I felt weak and thought I'm meeting him again for the first time... but now, he's more than a stranger nor a friend. =) Thank God for you. Life here in stresspul singapoh is worth while. My ride is sweeter.
Plus two: There are sweet actions I wanna do but hinders me so from doing them. Like a simple hug in the busy train like the couples around us. I just wanted to let you rest on my shoulder and allow you to sleep and get the rest you need during the journeys... just wanted to be with you a little longer than usual during working days cz you make me relax, ease the moment of our busy lives.
Plus three: I tend to compare my past to nows with the more than friends bonds. (tsk) and well... there's move +ve than -ves. It's been raining all day... the "payong" song plays and I want a day where I can flash back and keep a sweet memory like how the song depicts itself:

PAYNG....
by Ceres

ako ba ang nais mong sukuban?
ako ba ang nais mong hagkan?
pag-ibig ko ba ang nais makamtan?
ikaw ay aking papayungan
sa lahat ng bagyong darating sa iyong buhay,
nandito lang ako

susubukang mabihag ang puso mo
sa payong ng pagmamahal ko
hanggang sa mapagod ako
sa kakapayong sayo...

ikaw lang ang sinisigaw ng damdamin.

ikaw lang and hinahanaphanap

sa bawat pangarap, nasasa isip ka

sa tuwing,

tayong magkasama,

para bang, ako lang ang iyong mundo,

ngunit di ko na alam kung ano ako sayo

ooh...

susubukang mabihag ang puso mo
sa payong ng pagmamahal ko
hanggang sa mapagod ako,

(‘di mapapagod)
sa kakapayong sayo...

susubukan mabihag ang puso mo,

sa payong ng pagmamahal ko.

hangang sa mapagod ako sa kakapayong..

sa kakapayong,

sayo...

ooh...

I edited the lyrics from the given site.(wow):
http://www.imeem.com/conchito/music/_XLHhlUd/no_artist_payong/
Bonnuit. (Gd nite.) 0350

dimanche, juillet 20, 2008

change. 7:09 AM

heya =) how's life so far? i hope all is good. well here's a piece of mah current life situation.

Grab a bite:

i had my evaluation at work today. Was one of the last few to be evaluated cz i barely work compared to the partners at store. Overall, before I was evaluated, I am honestly thinking of resigning and focusing towards my studies. To finally give in to what my parents really want -stop working and just concentrate on my studies.

Being in another sch now, getting another paper to back me up in future, adapting to the new lifestyle in school and at the same time handling the things I enjoyed outside school activities: dance, social, love, church and worklife.

It gets so hard to be once involved in many areas in my life, learning by my own decision- making on changing to a better person -prioritising, giving in to temptations, pushing myself to do what's right...

It's been really tough lately esp Ive 3 weeks to my major examinations. Sometimes, I just want the world to stop so I can catch up on times i acted rebelliously, erase the mistakes, lost opportunities and wasted moments I had just to be a better person, just so I can stop suffering from what I incurred to myself. We can't do that. I can't keep looking back, gotta stop thinkin of the lost opportunities, if not, my present will be utterly wasted. Present, the greatest gift I am bestowed everyday of my life.

(I am writing ramdomly. whatever pops up in my head. I just wanna get rid of them so that I can feel better cz my partners told me I seem to be having a lot of thoughts in my head, I look lost... I am not myself, told me to even go home after work instead of lingering at store. damn... kawawa naman sarili ko. kawawa naman ako at di ko sya napapansin. ako pa. sarili ko pa...)

There are things I have to improve on. I am not your outstanding barista. I am just average. But i wanna stop being average and do better. Nakakainis isipin na binangit rin ni Noel na ako ang senior sa lahat ng part timers. I dont like being the big sis there. I dont like being the senior. I dont seem to want any more leadership roles both at work and in school cz i feel i had t0o much of them during my elementary and highschool years. I thought I could drive, divert myself from them but sometimes, somehow, I end up getting the roles... and now, instead of embracing that opportunity, I am running away from it.... but I can't cz I have to do it. As Noel said, "you MUST." His evaluation made me reflect on my schwrk and sch attitude too. Once again, I am inspired. Might have been cocky and clueless on some of the things I answered to him, gosh... kakahiya. Working at Starbucks really stretches me to be a better person. Ive to exercise the things Ive learnt at the workshop of being a Learning Coach. Ive to give feedback on both reinforcing and changing... g0sh. di naman ako sanay sa mga ganon noh. at narealise ko rin na, back on the days i enjoyed and savored leadership roles, working with tough stains (hard/obstinate/pasaway/rebellious ppl), dat one crazy day gave me phobia. haha. grabeh kasi nangyari non... to an extent napaiyak ako kasama ko mga strangers na under national leadership trainin rin. g0sh. twas just the 2nd day of training then. -_-" farking embarrassing. ilan lang talaga nakakaalam ng storia na yan. blaaah.

and den... here i am realising again. I can't stop and shouldn’t stop being better. Everyone has potential to excel. Opportunities should be seizing. We should not run away from them. God, the one who created us, will NOT give these giants of reponsibilities if we can't handle them. He believes we can do it. Ang hirap nga lang talaga sa una... at sana talaga, magawa ko ito. gusto ko ulit magtagumpay. gusto kong matupad ang aking mga desires, wishes,and things ive worshipped towards successful people since i was young. They drive me time and time again... and now that I am brought to that platform, I want that blissful and deserving blessings I have been hungry on.

traaaaa. stop the "ugh". haha. feedbackfeedback: di dapat mailang na. to an extent, i am SHY and a conscious person towards other people. di rin kasi ako sanay magtake ng leadership roles sa working environment. this is like a farking BIG deal to me. sanay ako sa students... things that doesnt concern about a JOB, gettin fired, MONEY issues, CUSTOMERS -all kinds from bad to worst and there’s the COLLEAGUES. i am not comfortable being a leader with those hefty stakes laid on my table. natatakot ako. tapos parang kasi i dont feel much backing up going on... cz you've to showcase that with the new role given to you, you have to impress your boses now. Eh sa school kasi, whatever you do, teachers back you up cz ure the leader of the sch. this is an INTERNATIONAL COMPANY i am involved in. g0sh. grabeh... tapos alam mo yon... di naman ako seriouso kasi nga part time lang sya. my overview of that "part time job" doesnt require hefty duties or leadership roles... parang simple lang sya sakin: earn money. i dont care how much. im killin my free time makin bucks. ganyan sya eh.... kaya it needs change man. den i am somehow diggin for inspirations, strings i wanna keep so that i can keep alo0f the ground. eh cno nga naman ba? sa ngayon parang wala pa eh kasi this is serious a responsibility. shet talaga. cguro hindi nga sya serious sa inyo... pero iniisip ko rin kasi ang oras ko sa sch0ol... mom already warned me that if i failed any module, im out of my job whether i want or not. lastly, di ko naman talaga element ang business. wat the heck. grrr... ive to make the most of it, LEARN and APPLY the skills given to me. =)

tapos ako rin yong tipong tao na sobrang naniniwala sa "actions speak louder than words." I am more impressed on ppl who showcase their action. napapansin ko kasi sila kaysa sa sabihin mo sakin. not really that verbally-believed. and now, hello realisation... you've to TELL dem wat to DO.. you need to ACT what you SAY... that TELL-DO, ACT-SAY are connected. that they are a team and one can't stand on its own. so parang nalaos na sakin ang sayin na yan. (pero cguro sa pagibig, masgugustohin ko parin na ipakita sakin na mahal nya ako, syempre, rather than tellin me everyday he loves me wen he doesnt show it. sarap sabihin, 'go away. i can just get a parrot, train it and tell me "iloveu" everyday.' haha.=P) ang hirap rin sabihin nyan... again, phobia -i break down wen the person i wanna change for the better, perceived it harshly and reacts negatively towards my utmost heartfelt concern for his better being. (God I need you're help so bad.)

And then lastly, Ive to update my knowledge. I am embracing coffee na. Addict na ako sa coffee to be honest. I have coffee everyday in school. Ive come to budget that in my allowance. Di completo araw ko kung di ako nagcoffee. Thank God may cafe sa school at malapit sya sa entrance ng main school and voila, sa blocks ng course ko=) weeee. (hmm... so thinkin about it... maybe it is somehow destined I work at coffee business. ahahaha. ngek. wat a thin assumption. nyaahahaha. well, SB, so far, is the longest part time job i am in... and honestly, i am shock to answer my partners that I have been working for more than a year. napapasabay ako sa "wow" reaction nila. g0sh. =) ) so, after my exams, i am devoting my time to SB. syempre, may time rin sa iba... i'll just give more time for that. magaaral rin ako. masarap naman tumambay don eh. heeeee... iloveilove. akalin mo ba naman, i txted Noel.. i told him he inspires me. hehehe... parang nahihiya ako. but hey, youve to open ur golden mouth if its for the go0d. at yan rin, natutunan ko sa starbucks at di sa pamilya ko. oops. den i realised too na there are things youve to learn on ur own, out of ur family boundary to mould us. hindi lahat, matututunan mo sa family mo... im thankful... of the many people moulding me to be a better me in this big BIG world, I am blessed they're downtoearth and really wants the best for us. =)

dang. i t0ok an hour to write my thoughts. sowie... Imma linear person. thanks for the time. =) will update on wat happens to me down the road. hehe. I’m pending on achieving the goals in my life. Also, to have fun and loving what you do, Ive realised that you gotta know how to stretch your abilities, opportunities on your platform. You’ve to think with how the business work, adapt to how they run it and do something about upgrading yourself. Do not wait to be served, youve to know your sources and go out there, learn it make them come true towards the people. (ayan nga, leadership na nga. Totoo na nga ang mga good quotes. Theyre so freakin meaningless to me... yes i understand what they mean, but once the time comes, i remembered the quotes i read and found a deeper meaning on what the person actually mean. Wow. Amazing realisation Karen! Haha.)

Have fun sailing life people! =) Keep your faith and never settle for anything less because we are deserving to be a better person. Pass on your knowledge, help each other and leave all your worries to God... cz he surprises us with his miracles and we are never alone... so keep your loved ones, seize the present and everyday of our lives... =) Ilovey'all! Always keep safe and God bless!

2520 le20juillet2008.

[funfact: ang haba ng sinulat ko noh? but thats how long it should be. dapat nga longer. 3 pages at least. thats only 2 1/4. =)

lundi, juillet 14, 2008

classmates. 7:40 PM

Tonite, i decided to stop posting the "busy" icon in both msn and yahoo messengers. I got tired doing that and I just wanna distress. (although yes, ive another freaking test tmrw. GAWD! HELP.)

i keep screaming inside of me each lesson in school. Thank God i survive those days and the ones coming ahead. Ive to prepare myself mentally and physically. Going to sch is already a drag to me and somehow repels me to go; tempts of rebelling cz reporting to sch before 8am is always an irritating scene of a busy hive. I mean, the BUS, the TRAINs I take to go to sch has a l w a y s been packed. people rush to board the buses n the trains... ugh.

despite all these, i have caring classmates who sms me when i am not there for more than an hour, because i am usually late for a maximum of 30min just like in college east.

moreover, to my surprise, the smart people in my classes are the kindest human beings on earth. yes i am exaggerating, but i dont care cz they really are. i can run to them for all the modules.Only, ive to really understand what they say cz theyre not really eloquent in speakin english. watabarrier.

they started the chat, im so deeply touched. hehe. =) lalang. im just grateful. sabay, puro lalaki pa mga ito. wahahaha. (nanaman. engineering kasi.) and den, someone just asked if ive a boyfren. and den, who would have known that the hairstyle i detest is actually appreciated. wahahaha. =) thank you guys... you all are like the rays of the sun in my life. =) weee~~

just wanna paste the followin for more motivation and reminder for myself (cz somehow, i cant survive motivating myself a l o n e. knowing these ppl, and of all ppl, my classmates really care. sweetbeings.)

----

Kyaw says:

nope..

Kyaw says:

u r the best..

Kyaw says:

i envy of you..

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

no i am not.

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

hello~~~ ure better than me in all the subjects! haha

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

i need ur help!!! hehe

Kyaw says:

so..tomorrow..

Kyaw says:

leave it to me..

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

0_0

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

we'll work as a group

Kyaw says:

yeah...

Kyaw says:

tomorrow..lab test

Kyaw says:

i think u can do well...

Kyaw says:

if u want to study..u can join us anytime u free..

(then there's this Problem Base Learning Project for Fmath. eesh! totally clueless on that.)

Kyaw says:

but don't worry ..i will drag you into our group...

Kyaw says:

i will tell these 2 guys..

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

hahahaha

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

drag. lemme know wat i can do

Kyaw says:

nope..

Kyaw says:

juz stay...

Kyaw says:

ok..

Kyaw says:

we will do

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

i know... been really bad girl in sch. skippin classes and late. uggggh. i hate it

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

oh nooo

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

lemme do something ok?

Kyaw says:

why u skip classes ??

Kyaw says:

let me know...

Kyaw says:

it is really how to say..

Kyaw says:

i don't want to be bossy..

Kyaw says:

but..

Kyaw says:

it is not good..

(Gosh. I was asked this again! UGGGH)

Kyaw says:

what's ur aimbition...???

(lalala. yes i skippED classes -_-")

Kyaw says:

up to ur ability,,

Kyaw says:

if u need sth..tell us..

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

yep. correct. thats why. im catching up on my work.

Kyaw says:

but i can feel that u r motivated...

Kyaw says:

in study...

(hay. oo. buti naman at napansan nya parin yan.)

and then there's the other kinda classmates:

rizs says:

relax k

--- [[ K a r e n ]] --- says:

gotta get back studying in 4min.

rizs says:

dont stress up urself

rizs says:

i dont like 2 see a girl stress

rizs says:

especialy u

rizs says:

keep smiling in ur pix

rizs says:

hehe

rizs says:

oic

rizs says:

just asking only, do u have a boyfrend?

rizs says:

if u dont want to tell its ok

rizs says:

i scared dat if i msg u or chat ur boyfrend will scold u

rizs says:

ill try 2 help u 2morrow k

rizs says:

no matter wat hair stye u gt, u still look gd

rizs says:

btw when did u cut ur hair?

rizs says:

btw just asking only, wt do u thnk of me?

rizs says:

hehe

and then there where the schmates:

1aMjEremy..::¦★¦█▀■●▬▬─ says:

did anybody said that ur dp is extremely nice

see ya around sch too nanites~

─▬▬●■▀█¦★¦::..1aMjEremy..::¦ sent 14/7/2008

bye bye=<

vendredi, juillet 11, 2008

she's in love... 9:04 PM

a different feeling overcame her on that beautiful night where the weather stirred in to add in her pilling emotions...

time ticked...

same actions but deeper emotions cultivated...

locked in his arms in the refuge of his comfort and love made her see the emotions that were once blocked...

Some things that love bestows us

are simply

hard to describe.

le11juillet08

jeudi, juillet 10, 2008

books 5:54 PM

Books. =) I still have this book from Jessica. Seems like Ive yet to return it to her on her debut. nyaha. Anyway, decided to watch the movie online. WEEE~ Yesh its online. And i'm gonna give myself a treat after doing my reviews on Engineering Materials. Ive downloaded 1 and 2. It's ready to be played. =)

while browsing online, i saw the following books. "Eat, Pray and Love," is a book Katrina is reading too by Elizabeth Gil. # New York seller. Ive came across the gist of the reader and she quoted a phrase from the book:

"As I read, I often stick post-it notes on pages with passages that resonate with me. One of the passges that I tagged from "Eat, Pray, Love follows:

"We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses - one foot is on the horse called "fate," the other on the horse called "free will."
And the question you have to ask yourself every day is - which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, & which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?" p.177

Have you read this book? If so, what did you think? I'm on the Pray section & I don't want it to end. "

I wanted to get Josh Harris "I kissed dating goodbye" on my way to Barkadahan Practice... but decided to wait. Seems like it's also an inappropriate book cz im in a relatioship. =P. haha.

the below book just caught mah attention. It's a nice cover too =)

yes yes. i tend to be a hopeless romantica. =Z

mardi, juillet 08, 2008

People's perspective on my course. 7:09 PM

I met someone today, she seemed to be a counsellor. A schoolmate's having probs with her modules and was asking the whereabouts for her education. I was asked what course I am in...if I like it after a reply of "Mechatronics."

"Its okay... just that I have to really force myself to study instead of enjoying it as a whole package."

"Ok... so that's something got to do with robots?.. That's good. At least you're perservering. What course did you wanted to take up then?"

"I wanted design...." ....

le8juillet08. 2303.

"Yea, you're more of a creative person. I'm quite surprised you're taking Mechatronics."

She saw my notebook. My scribbles and plain hand writting of "Chemistry", "Chem", "Chemise" on my 4th year scrap book. Decided to use the 3/4 pages that are clean. Turned out, she has those kinda notebooks too and she's giving them away. She asked for my number and asked how many books I want. I can take for my friends too, "for free." What more, she liked my freaking handwrittin. Even asked if I were the one who designed it. GOSH. I found the writting plain actually. She wanted me to design one of her books. GOSH.

Bottom line is:

Many people have told me I am not the engineering sort of person. I am creative. Arts, Language are what speaks volumes when you see me... my major elements. But no... sadly, I am not majoring what you see in me. =(

I told her to see the prospects of both: Design and Engineering. To make us both happy, I told her I might consider taking design as a sideline.

UGH.

It gets real hard for me to sometimes push myself to something I really hate doing, like math and farking physics in mah brain... i detest them. People aren't helping either when they convince me I am not sorta person. This has been happening countless times. It sickens me.

I just end up with a sigh...Tryna look at the bright side too... but it is I who do that... not from external sources... they are never of a help. kicksomeass.

HOW DO YOU DEFEND YOURSELF? DAMNIT. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT "FAULT" I AM DOING. BUT THIS IS WHAT I CHOSE. I HAD TO CHOOSE AND THIS IS THE PATH I WAS LED TO/LEADING. SO LET ME BE AND STOP TELING ME WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING CZ CIRCUMSTANCES DOESNT LET ME BE. I ALREADY HAVE TO CONVINCE MYSELF EVERYDAY. keep ur comments to urself ok? its too painful for me to go back and realise that time and time again. you're not helpin! (lol)

just how are you gonna react when you're in mah shoes?

lundi, juillet 07, 2008

Gifts. Surprises. Love. 1:52 PM

Gifts. Surprises. Love.

Wasn’t due to work today, (Thank God) nor was I expecting my boyfriend to come over our place.

Lo and Behold, I got an sms from him stating he's coming over.Hindi pa po ako nakaligo non. Grabeh. And it only takes about 20-30min for him to arrive at our home from where he was.Shet.Bathed. And tadah, he was here.

I asked how to manipulate the movie maker. (yes, I don’t know how to use that software… yet) Spider man, the movie was also playin in the living room.

He suddenly cut the momentum when watching and said,
“May ibibigay ako sayo.”

Reached to his bag den came out an orange paper bag labeled, “creative.”

I wasn’t expecting him to give me the whole package cz the inside is something I expected that will be different. But NOOOO! OMG. I peeped at the inside and there’s an mp4 case. SHET!

He said, “Belated happy birthday.”

I was so surprised, shocked and somewhat shy cz, he shouldn’t be giving me expensive gifts…

Dang baby… I gave back the bag to him and he said,

“Ayan ka nanaman.”

I didn’t want to repeat what happened then… and I just took the mp4 case in the neat box… said my thanks… I wanted to hug him then! Haha… even wanted a smack on his lips cz currently, I use my phone for my music company. Dad’s mp3 gave away already. I hold myself from doing those actions cz we were with my 2 siblings. Gooosh.

Part 2

Back home I took the creative paper bag and decided to tidy up the package. There were receipts there too. Of course I was wondering why he even bothered giving me those too when usually, one always throws any price tags in a gift. Then I came to realize the following:

He wrote something at the back of the receipts.

1. Starbucks receipt: He finally got his partner’s card. He got a drink there and thanked me for inviting him in the SB family.

2. The creative receipt was for 12 months warranty. Awww… what more, this Friday will be our 3^rd monthsary…

On his way home, he smsed. He was going to Best’s home to get the tent for Friday. Shet. TENT. Hahaha… another freaking surprise stunt he’s gonna pull. Hehehehe. I am so apprehensive about all these. Beach date! Wahahaha… nah… he said we’ll be having a picnic in the park. Awww… hahaha. He gave me a call when he was at Best’s house. It’s been a long time since I heard his voice on the phone with all the maintenance and busy days cz they just moved to another house.

Hearing his voice once again… I felt like the girl months before being courted by him. Haha. Only it was sweeter cz he said, “Hon” at first.

Tadaaa =) gosh. I really can’t believe my boyfriend is real. Hahahahaha.

Thanks for the gifts honey. Sana complete surprise(as in totally don’t tell me a n y t h i n g . Lol. Or ask obvious qns) nalang sya para mas Masaya. =D ;)

Weee~

Can’t wait for Friday. And before Friday comes, I’ll be tormented with 4 tests and a quiz. Dang babeh. Sch is eating me! Hahaha.

wilkommen

----{ T h e L a d y }----

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The name's Karen.
Currently residing in Singapore
But her heart belongs in Baguio City
She yearns to go to America
where her relatives and frens live.
Born on the 15th June
She's a yellow fanatic.
A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p
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