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lundi, août 25, 2008
sch
7:20 PM
so tmrw's the last paper, cprog. the most tedious of all the 5 modules. im sad about having to sit for the last paper honestly and im just gonna screw it up too anyway. I hate myself for that. I should have perservered and all... but something went wrong along the way and I u-turned. Somewhat determined to start a new course i screwed the modules. Wudve been tears of joy to have that bittersweet battle in the field and a success drive it the end. it would have been. Yet, deep down, I just can't take it nimore. And den there's the side of wasting time, my cravings of wanting to go to school... once the 6 weeks is over. Yes, Im already looking ahead to what I wanna do. Cz right now, I am in a state of dilemma. Again, I feel like continuing my course or go for what I really want... but the problem is, the intake is next year. I have yet to ask about the procedures in my school but I already know what's coming ahead cz Ive asked TP about it. This is so excruciating. I dont wanna be working all 5 months long. I'll miss studying for sure. Time is ticking. I'm getting old and this education of mine is not yet to what I want to accomplish. Oh Lord... help me. Im not sure about goin private. It's faster alright buh ya know... local universities are more in demand. Nvm the cost and shit, but of course that pays a part too. Local schools are a priority wen u go out there in the working world. They're the first to consider so somehow Im stickin to that. I think I'll dig up some guts to talk to parents about it though. =(. Im apprehensive about asking the procedures on Tue. Im not confident at all about my decision. Maybe I'll just inquire.... see what's gonna happen if this and that goes. Thanks sweetie's goin with me. Im sowie uve to compromise school for this... And when that is revealed.. there's the other side that I might go back home and study. I still have my CAP insurance afterall.
This is so hard on me. Yes, Im scared about my future... .... and sometime I feel like drowning my fears away. (IknowitswrongandThankGodnothinghappened.) mardi, août 19, 2008
biglaan
7:23 PM
so biglaan nlg akong kinokontact ng mga pare kong di ko na nakakausap for months or meron naman dyan na lagi naman kamin nagkikita ONLINE pero di kami naguusap. eh kasi naman, lagi rin akong nagaappear offline sa MSN at kung may trip lang akong makipagchat don ko lang sya iaavailable. maskina nga busy pa ang icon, nobody really cares about that cz they still chat with ya, dba? haha. but i still prefer keepin msn in appear offline mode.=D then i got calls and chats and wow, emails. wata nite. this is the nite where i started to kill myself softly to0... im just hopin for the best. now everyone is slowly knowing we wont be in the same class... hopefully.
ahahahaha. xP
4 papers to kill in the battle field!!! KAMPATEH!!!! samedi, août 16, 2008
love talk
11:05 AM
I replied my cousins' comments at friendster. These caught my attention: background and shoutout individually. the first: A kiss is just a kiss, until u find the one u love... A hug is just a hug, until u find the one ure always thinking of... A love is just a word, until its proven to you.
The shoutout: Time will prove my love to you and cement my place in your heart forever. For time will give me the credibility that I need to convince you to want to spend the rest of your life with me, That I am worthy of such a commitment from you. ("for" you or "from" you? hmm..)
so anw.. may nangyari kasi kaya parang natatamaan ako sa mga sweet sayings na yan. My girl friends, Dess and her Tita, Joy and I were having a girls talk. Joy mentioned about her friend who's in a relationship for 7 years already. Then it got us wonderning, especially me, on how they were able to be together for that long. Ano yong secreto? Questions start to pop out of our heads... Parang ang saya sabihin na 3 years na ang isang magsyota... pero parang once they hit 5 years of togetherness, the kilig factor is, somewhat gone? haha. I dont know. But this is what really bugs me: "Dont they get tired of each other?" Hindi ba sila nagsasawa sa isatsa? Im no player.. pero parang i backstabbed myself when I asked that. It's just really confusing. Too much to fathom, dba? Joy said cguro daw kasi theyve gone through so much it's wasted to let go. They've grown together, known each other in depth and that treasure is hard to just give it up. She said this beautiful phrase, I just can't figure it right now cz I am still feeling like I'm having a hangover. I dont really even know how it really feels like to have a hangover to be honest... hahaha... but i know i still walk tipsy-like-that, wen i walk. ugh. yon lang. Then i came across those lovery-dovey sayings... I think my questions are answered. I think the shoutout has said it all. =) wonderful. Tapos... napatingin ako sa status na nilagay ni insan... and his status stated: "married", which ultimately leads to the years a couple is together. (so why dont u guys just get married? haha.. wouldnt be celebrating years of marriage better than.. ya know, "in a relationship?" ah...*headache*) i'll leave y'all to ponder. haha. time to mug~ mercredi, août 13, 2008
Write Out 1: Before and After
9:50 PM
you know there are times when you have this feeling within you and you start to write? it's just one of those days. I thought of sharing it here:
Before and After.
It's sad to say that each time we get closer, it feels as if our feelings and loving-actions lessen each day. What was close a-bonding of a lover has degraded to a friend... Your phone call has ceased oh how I miss seeing your phone number in my phone... The sound of your voice that sends me tingles down my spine... Your worriedness for me that extra care in taking knowledge if I'm home safely If I had my proper meals If I'm sound asleep If my whole day didnt take a toll on me... Your greetings in my early morn the tea breaks that seem longer the good night farewells you made at the end of each day... The songs you made which melted me the melody you jived in the surprises you send like comments at my page for everyone's witness...
Why have they gone? Oh how I miss the old times, when I wasn't yet yours... mardi, août 12, 2008
California Fitness
2:03 PM
WAHAHAHA.
I got this mysterious call from a filipina lady telling me last monday that I got a 14 day trial at California Fitness. A friend recommended me. She made appointment with me and voila... the story is as follows:
who on earth would have known, this freaking business "free trial" thingie has a hook that comes along with it. A deal. I went there today after school cz we end early. I was toured around before forming a guest list and the next thing you know, i was told about their history and yea, membership thingie. What i think about it.... esp about the price cz I am a student. Ended up bargaining with their "leader" and I met more people who are in position of other areas like trainees, going through the terms and conditions, the plan.... I think I had a good bargain. hahahaha. But I never really thought Im gonna spend a penny upon going there in the first place. Hence, never thought about spending money on my health and fitness even though I am 21 =P Twas really hard deciding... this is so unexpected and my money is bloody tight. Ive yet to get my dunks, dawg! hehehe... I caught moments where Christian asked me again, "Ask your parents? but you're already 21 right? So, why do you still need to ask your parents?" GOSH. (kasi naman po kuya, maskina 21 ako, nakatira parin ako sa bahay ng magulang ko. pilipino po ako. wat's best about the tour is this machine which reads and tells me about my Body Composition Analysis. It measured my body fat, muscle mass, fat distribution and this BMR thingie. What's the ideal percentage for each and how they're gonna tone up and ya know those stuffs for an ideal body image. It also stated my nutrition status, Upper Lower Balance, Right Left Balance and Weight control... awesome =) Well, so far, I gained a cm more in my height. wahahahaha. yes naman. =) and I fall on the category "good". ehehehe. Hello, its been a year of no religious exercise and having that results was awesome! hehe. Thank you Lord. Oh yea, they have these classes too and theyre free. =D The cycling lessons though, uve to book a day early. whaaaat? Im investing for my health already! woooo~ Im starting my regime next month. OMYGAAAH. I have yet to know who tagged me in this program. Well hello stranger, I'll cya there. hahahaha. lundi, août 11, 2008
Dilemma
3:44 PM
Course-dilemma. Ang hirap talaga i-pursue ng course na hindi mo gusto. My situation in this part of life is complicated. Ive already pursued 2 years of Mechanical Engineering. I tolerated that and I've planned of totally shifting after graduation. The chance came. I was given 5 courses to choose from and all of them are not related to Engineering. I chose 3 design courses and the 2 are IT. I wanted to continue my studying, I went to an extent of appealling for engineering courses just so I can study again. God forbid me... now that I am there, I honestly didnt seize the chance. I know there shouldnt much of a problem if I really focused... But deep down inside, I am declaring myself as a depressed, trying-hard-to-survive engineering student every time i go to school. I remember being so nervous each time we have a quiz and even more nervous when we get back our results. What more having lessons that make me focus too hard, I am not enjoying myself. I feel that I am under operation every day. dang. I got an invite from the Design school... but what the heck, theyre offering me engineering courses too. Ahuhuhuhuhu. I really really really HOPE to shift. I dont think I can even be a living encyclopedia in engineering. It is not my element. It'll be a torture for me and to my future juniors. haha. And then of course, shifting is not an easy thing. As i blog this out... Im anxious about how my parents are gonna take this. Worst comes to worst, I've to pay for my own school fees?. huhuhu. But hey, they shouldve known better cz even before I was taking m Mech Engg, I was realy complaining to mama. Again... there's this guilt feeling cz dad asked me for confirmation the eve of whence we were paying for the school fees. =( Syempre gusto nya yon para sakin. Pero.... di ko na talaga kaya eh. =.< Lastly... I am sad of leaving engineering cz i know the prospects of that field is in demand in here compared to what I really wanna do. My highschool classmate said I can go overseas... Oh lord... help help me. Exams are next week. x< (kung bakit kasi ilan lang ang demand dito.) mardi, août 05, 2008
Intrigue
2:36 PM
tada!! hehe. I dont know why.. i just posted that recently at Friendster and ALOT of people viewed my profile. from 30something it went up to 50 now. ahahahahaha. naintriga naman ako sa mga nagviewed. kasi hindi ko naman talaga sila close at oo nga pala, hindi nila alam ang latest news sa buhay ng dalawang nyan. aheh... i dont care though. but one thing caught my attention, our partner at SB. He has been teasing us ALOT in store... he declares Mike as "your boyfriend"... and he's the sort who like to disturb... well, y'all know that lovers cant work under one ro0f... we've been concealing and so far it is successful =P It sucks to the point where I cant express my devotion freely online. hahaha... online lang. xD
and lastly...
I was home alone as early as 1pm after school. gooosh. I used to love the peace and I savor those moments.. but now, I just want company =( I was bored, played with Webcam and hahahahaha, i caught the above. It makes me laugh hysterically. ahehehe. share lang. =D ingats amigos! dimanche, août 03, 2008
le 3 Aout 08
7:40 PM
Karen slipped in the middle of the pedestrian while crossing. farkin humilating. i gained my balance.... thank God. huhu.... i changed slippers thats why and the support on the bottom right came off. -_-"
and this cam-whoring is only bcz.... ive worn Aunt Weng's huggin pants. wahaha. ive worn the pants since i was about 10 years old. She's my Godmother and so she gives me her clothes, fashion stuffs, name it... whenever she came back from Italy and France. I brought them with me here in Singapore and voila, they still fit me. =) ho0ray! I miss her loads. If only u can see them now Aunt!! Oh yea, im still hopin for the box of clothes and stuffs uve been wantin to send here! yey!! hehhe... and lastly... i used to yearn for it, but now, i dont have to =) and i like bein with yaaa. =,> (im guilty cz i dont really open up. wahaaa... den i'd end up tellin it to someone else. they're angels in disguise. iloveyam.) dad's bday tmrw!! wooo! well, 20 min more. samedi, août 02, 2008
issues
12:28 PM
Self issues. haha. i dont know why, but I'm gettin conscious of the wrong sorts: like my dancing... i went for practice yesterday and well, i kinda forgot some of the steps. being away for 2 months and not exercising made me give lame excuses. ahaaaa. farking ass. i need new shoes cz i cant move mah feet with the Girbaud shoes. Hence, it's really looking worn day by day. Then there will be steps im not sure off. Instead of asking and executing... I stop. Might be because I'm thinkin yesterday will be the only day I'll be back for practice and then I'll be MIA (Missing In Action) again, for the whole August cz of exams. It's like I didnt bother much about the dance moves yea? Which is kinda sad... but not entirely cz I got the video of it. Imma practise at home. I hate being labelled as a dancer and then I dont give it mah farking best shot. Sometimes, self-pressure is good. I push myself to the limits I know and still taking care of myself, like that. we are thinking of dancing this... and of course, I need to be sexy to have that ExTrA push and confidence in mah moves, right? haha. And then comes the other side of boyfriend. Obviously, this entry of mine is not cross-linked to multiply. Kinda got tired of the thought that people comment and it leads to a bicker... although there are many comments. At least here, I dont get much comments and I dont think those friends of mine at multi even visits this blog of mine. A quote on jealousy: Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it turns into fury or it ends as soon as we pass from suspicion to certainty. Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) Ewan ko ba. Saw something that was a result of jealousy. When I saw "that", of course, it gave me the green-eyed monster, but he only did that because of something that had happened. And then I'd wonder why he have to do that. And why I am feeling this farking way... UGH. sakit ng ulo. cguro nga, hayaan ko nlg. kaysa sa, babanat pa ako, wala rin naman magandang madudulot don. Sa ginawa nya, i think its immature. =P and of course, cguro, the way i replied him is also immaturity... hmm... i wanna revenge. haha. bad bad yea? But ya know, Im not that sort of person. I think the best way is to IGNORE and PRETEND cz my exams are coming up. 2 weeks!!! OMG... den there's the side of me still wanting to work when already, i took a month off so i can focus on mah studies... heh.... it does take time to get used to somethin new. The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid. Lady Bird Johnson (1912 - 2007) have to implement that all over again in mah life. This time its different cz I am setting standards for myself. Kinda stressin for myself... it's definitely a challenge... and any tests in life is a blessing in the end. Success is the destination. yan lang. man... i cant seem to believe its the weekends and i'll be muggin all weekend long. at the back of my head, theres this itch of me wantin to work or go to Barkadahan... damin temptations. anovahyaaaan. aralaral! oh... and lastly, the word "FCUK" has been heard only by this mini group of chinese in class. Theyre the ones I'm usually with. And then now, after 2 weeks, the WHOLE class is saying it. I thought to myself to avoid getting infected... but yesterday, it hit me. SHET. hahaaaaa... I only realised it when i get the wrongs moves and den it'd say, "Fcuk...", "fcukin ass"... cz u see, I'm not the sort who says bad words... nah ah. i think the F word is too vulgar compared to "shit". hehee... (yes, although they are both vulgar words. i meant, the DEGREE of Vulgarity! ahaha.) 3 dance performances comin up next month =) |
wilkommen
The name's Karen. Currently residing in Singapore But her heart belongs in Baguio City She yearns to go to America where her relatives and frens live. Born on the 15th June She's a yellow fanatic. A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p Do tag my board yea? EVERYONE'S WELCOME!! ^_^
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