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vendredi, février 20, 2009
Here in my life -behind that song that touched me deeply
9:56 PM
As I listened repeatedly to this song which made me emote and tear so much upon first heard at Hope church, all I could think of are my loves ones and my journey over the in-and-out of building that relationship with Jesus. I feel like I am a little girl once again at Baguio City... and all along, as I look back, I see myself grow and mature with time. There are set backs, successes, surprises, lows and ups... as I listened to this song.The huge thing that changed me as a person is my relationship with Him. (No, not my boyfriend. Read on.  )I miss the religion classes during elem days... I particularly love the day when my mom allowed me to go to church with Mikee, my new neighbor then. We were late... haha... her parents are the ones who run the church. Mikee sang in church with her older sister but I think I was fetched by her sister then. It was odd carrying that bible as we hurried to the "church." Yes, noticed the quotation marks huh? That's because we didnt end up in a synagogue as what my parents always brought me to. We were at this elementary school in the village. There was this man whom they didnt call as priest but Pastor and the songs they sang spoke freely. Freely, because the words used were simple and remiscing at how it felt, I love how outwardly it was sang... as if a love song written to God for everyone to hear and be a witness. I remember how the event was... every single thing. I think I was 7 or 8 back then and now I am turning 22. I miss those songs and the words of a simple man who spoke enthusiastically about Jesus Christ, the only thing that I was familiar with. I couldnt remember though if I told my mom that their church was different from ours. But I think I didnt tell her about it... hmmm... Anyway, moving on, as I type this, I am not even confirmed in the catholic faith (One should be by the age of 16) . My mom, particularly has been telling me to sign up for the classes. Somehow, one way or another, my schedule just can't fit to the classes available... or perhaps... There are people whom I met even the days of my highschool years here in Singapore. I was opened to Glad tidings church. I had this boyfriend then who brought me to their church. Again, he brought his bible whenever he picked me up on Sundays. I found the songs I fell in love with just like Mikee's. His mom gave me a gift, a bible, my first ever bible. (which i am currently using now) I stopped going there because there were lies we told to those church people. ahahaha... and the relationship didnt last... Perhaps Hope church has been the first christian church that opened up that relationship I have with Jesus Christ... (I was opened to more knowledge about the book that the people whom I met brought along with them) As looked back at how it started and I can still vividly remember how it all started by this lady who invited me to go to a church at somerset when we were along orchard road. There were not many filipinos back then and I felt a sense of glee to have met another filipina. I pictured somerset and couldnt for surely recognise any church building there. I didnt go despite the exchange of phone numbers and repeated invitation given to me. Yes, she did called me up, but all I did was turned her down. I was convinced there was no synagogue at Somerset cz I checked the location. Another incident came when a filipino school mate joined our school during secondary school days. Again, not many pinoys were here yet back then and I was so happy of knowing there's another filipino in my school other than me. I made means of knowing this guy and actually letting him join my CCA. haha. Funny how it turned out, that he himself had asked me out to a church.... and it's the same church -Hope church. It was called "Hope of God" back then. I was a loyalist in the youth service for 2 years. I didnt last long there... then came another invite from a filipina... Last 25th Jan, that's when I heard this song that touched me so much -Here in my Life by hillsong. I remembered the day when I was lost, so torn between catholic and christian. So tired by how I made it to the youth service every 3-5pm thenafter to the catholic church to meet my family for mass. I cried out in that church wanting to know the truth. I thought I was answered... but now, its already 2009, almost 4 years and somehow I am back at that same church again. Funny how it turned out that 2 years dating from the day I left that church, I found a job at Starbucks barely 400km from the church building. Odd. Who knew, I am again attending that church, but this time around, with a more larger group of filipino service. It was half-filled back then when I met another lady who brought me to filipino service, then again, I stopped, and this year, I am back there on sundays. Oh yes... Ive got this close friend of mine who actually serves there in the music ministry every 3pm service... And yet another dance friend attending the same service.... gosh... What Im tryna say is this. I just have this beautiful uncunning feeling about that song. Ever felt touched and you teared so much upon hearing a new song that just speaks volumes about ur life? Hearing every word sang touched me so easily... As if He was singing it to me... It came to me as a surprise. Like this gift of exclusive rare treasure that was given to me without even asking... maybe I have received it, but this one, caught me off guard, I just cried throughout the song... smiling, deeply moved and loved... I asked Mike and Martin after service if they knew the title and who sang that song...but both didn't know. They were telling me of another song, "complete" but it wasnt the one that moved me... It was only last Wednesday, when i was so ever free (perfect timing huh?) that I stumbled upon that song... I thought it wouldn't move me like the first time... but when I sang it, lo and behold, tears of joy and love filled me once again. I am not saying that you'd convert... I'm saying it's a different feeling to have a personal relationship with Him and let Him lead our lives and glorify his goodness and love. It's beautiful to live a life that's not my own cares -humanly. I have been searching the way of life really. Got so tired how it goes cz I live by the means of the regulations of a human ruled life. But when I accepted this "relationship with Jesus Christ" and let him rule the life he gave me, I felt renewed and all the more loved... that all I have to do is to bask in this beautiful life he granted us with praise him ever so worthy Lord, be worry free and trust Him in every single thing that comes to life. It's hard... ya know, to know what to do yet putting into action is another leap of challenge... but with God, its possible. =) This song just speaks all the times I have stumbled upon the many people he used to lead me to Him; to draw closer to Him. I cant very much put into words how I feel... but I am feeling good about this entry cz somehow, despite the late nite I am spending to blog this out, I am positive that this is a calling. =) That this special feeling I have, is meant to be shared and not kept for my own. It's a gift not just for me, but for you as well. Here's the lyrics: Here In My Life Lyrics Hillsongs Australia I have never walked on water felt the waves beneath my feet but at Your word Lord, I'll receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep and I remember how You found me in the very same place all my failings surely would have drowned me still You made a way You are my freedom Jesus, You're the reason I'm kneeling again at Your throne where would I be without You here in my life here in my life You have said that all the heavens sing for joy at one who finds the way to freedom, truth of Jesus bought from death into His life and I remember how You saw me through the eyes of Your grace and though the cost was Your beloved for me still You made a way God bless you. God loves you. |
wilkommen
The name's Karen. Currently residing in Singapore But her heart belongs in Baguio City She yearns to go to America where her relatives and frens live. Born on the 15th June She's a yellow fanatic. A friendly lass with a good heart. Really. =p Do tag my board yea? EVERYONE'S WELCOME!! ^_^
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